I recently went to a music festival with my cousin who is 22, and my brothers who are 19 and 21, respectively. I’m flirting with 30, so I knew going into the experience that we have some slightly differing priorities. On the second night of the festival, I decided to go to bed at midnight, which led to me facing chastisement at the mercy of the younger people. “You’re so lame,” they said. But in my elderly zen state, I simply chuckled. I explained to them that I’ve been to every party already. And one thing I learned from that is that every party is the same.
The other important lesson I’ve learned is that you get to choose how satisfied you are with the level of fun you’ve had, and that it’s okay to reach a quota on said fun, and that as you get older, you stop feeling like you constantly need to be seeking more fun once your cup is already full of fun. Or that if you’re not having fun doing something, you can simply stop doing it, rather than desperately trying to turn it into fun. So it follows that your life naturally starts getting better once you stop going out all the time. Especially because moderation is the spice of life; an exciting party lifestyle can be just as monotonous and routine as a sober one. Here are 8 reasons not going out all the time can really benefit your life.
1. You save money
I think the most immediate and noticeable benefit of not going out every night, whether it be to restaurants or bars or both, is that you save so much money. You can still have nice things like delicious food and wine in the comfort of your own home, but you’ll save a small fortune by cooking yourself and not being in environments where drinks cost $10 a pop. (You can have $3 bottles of Trader Joe’s wine instead!) Not going out also means you wont be getting drunk and offering to buy rounds of drinks for people who will never get you back, and you wont be wasting money on unnecessary cab rides or entry fees.
2. You don’t have hangovers
For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. So for every drink you have, you’ll pay for it the next day, and not just in money. When I stopped insisting on going out all weekend, my favorite thing was being able to wake up early, say, on a Sunday, and actually do things. You don’t realize how depressing laying in bed all day on the weekend eating bodega food and feeling like hell is until you start seeing what the world looks like when you feel good and have the energy and inclination to participate in daytime life.
3 you have more time to have proper interests
Getting blind drunk and making small talk with friends and strangers in too-loud bars with thumping music doesn’t count as a legitimate interest. When you’re not going out all the time, you free up precious time in which you can learn to do other, more productive things. Mine are cooking and yoga, both of which make me feel infinitely better than innumerable tequila shots and pizza slice at 4AM.
4. You get to sleep more
Not going out equals more time to sleep—and get better quality sleep. Going to bed at midnight rather than 4AM means you’ll wake up feeling actually refreshed, even more so because you’ll more than likely be going to bed sober. And let’s be real: sleep is way more fun than the majority of things that happen on a night out anyway
5. You’ll find better people in your life
When you go out a lot, you accumulate “party pals”. They’re the people who are there for the drinks and good times but who disappear from your life during daytime hours and aren’t available for any sort of life crisis you might be having. They’re not real friends. When you establish friends doing “real” things, like hanging out sober and engaging in mutually enjoyable activities together, you’ll find the people in your life are a much better bunch.
6. There’s less pressure on you
There’s so much pressure to go out when you’re someone who goes out all the time. When you’re someone who only goes out sometimes, the pressure others put on you, and the pressure you put on yourself, to actually go out, decreases exponentially. When you go out all the time, there’s also pressure to always be sociable, to look great, and to have a lot of energy. Losing all these expectations of yourself, and not allowing others to establish them, is really liberating.
7. You can indulge your moods
You can do what you feel like doing. Tired? Stay home! Irrationally upset about nothing really? Stay home! Perfectly content? Stay home! When you go out all the time, you always have to put on a happy face and wear your party persona. If you quit being out all the time, you can allow yourself to feel what you feel when you feel it.
8. You can just relax
The best thing about not going out all the time is just being able to relax. You don’t feel the need to figure out what everyone else is up to, or where the next hottest party is. You can allow yourself to feel perfectly happy in your sweats at home, reading, painting, watching TV, or just doing whatever it is you do that makes you feel comfortable and happy.