I’m going to tell you about an encounter with a brand that’s not just disappointing, it’s outright laughable. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the circus of incompetence known as Standard Charters Bank Nigeria.

A while back, I vented about Standard Chartered failing to solve the riddle of a malfunctioning card. Add two futile visits to the bank and the absolute chaos that their so-called ‘customer support’ is. I’m an entrepreneur, not a babysitter for a dysfunctional organization.

I’m pleased to inform you all that enough was enough. I tossed the dud Standard Chartered Naira card agonizingly into the trash. I switched to Opay, simply because I do not have the luxury of time to chase a band of bumbling jokers for access to my own money.

My nightmare, unfortunately, didn’t end there. My USD card refused to cooperate. Payments for my Starlinks subscription fell flat on its face. Updating my OWN postal address – a task I’d imagine is as simple as typing on a keyboard, was an epic saga with these folks.

Now let me share the cherry on top of this disaster sundae. I attempted to purchase Airtel credit – a basic transaction. Standard Chartered, in its infinite wisdom, debited me but (surprise, surprise) the transaction failed! My efforts to retrieve either my funds or the credit have been an absolute crash and burn.

In essence, I’m screaming from the rooftops – this bank is destabilized and dangerous to your nerves and your finances. It’s Russian roulette choosing to bank with them. A route better suited for adrenaline junkies than for serious people wanting to take control of their hard-earned money!

Oh, and the pièce de résistance? They’ve outsourced their customer support to far-flung corners of the globe where they apparently double-speak alien languages, making it a guessing game rather than a support system. Effective help? Forget about it.

People, I’m serving you a reality sandwich without the condiments. Don’t fall into the trap of Standard Chartered Bank Nigeria. Take it from me. This isn’t just a review; consider it a public service announcement. Be intelligent. Be safe. Go forth and avoid unneeded calamity. In the world of banking, there’s one less gladiator in the arena, and it has the audacity to call itself Standard Chartered. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

I'm an entrepreneur, not a babysitter for a dysfunctional organization.