How to be sexy is a precarious question, especially since there’s no real formula—but in 2017, we know that being “sexy” is less about looks and more about having that certain je ne sais quoi. Sure, studies have been done about what makes a person sexually attractive, but actual real-deal sexiness is super subjective—and it’s almost always in the eye of the beholder.
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Always make eye contact
And not just with your partner—looking everyone you’re interacting with squarely in the eye won’t only will boost your own confidence, but it’ll get people to see you as confident and in control, which usually translates to sexy.
Focus on Dynamic Attractiveness
Sure, physical beauty is a key component in innate sex appeal, but dynamic attractiveness involves the expression of our emotions and our underlying personality—and can critically boost your personal charisma. According to Psychology Today, expressing positive affect—smiling, employing an upbeat attitude, having expressive eyes, are all associated with sex appeal.
You've got a brain use it!
A sharp, healthy mind can be akin to healthy body when it comes to being sexy. This means occasionally challenging yourself by having challenging conversation, expressing interest in new things, reading books on new topics, or even just watching a documentary about something you never knew. The more you know, the more you can talk about in an informed way, which is a defining factor in real sex appeal.
Get a blow out
Almost all of us can certainly attest than when our hair looks bad, we often feel bad. Turns out, that’s not all in our heads, either: Studies have shown women spend around 20 years of their lives suffering from a bad hair day, and that it can greatly affect mood and confidence.
Yeah, we know that razor-sharp wit isn’t something that can be learned, and we’re not all able to be truly funny all the time, but not taking yourself or the world around you too seriously is a key component in being sexy. Plus, everyone loves a good sense of humor.
Expose your wrists
No, not because they’re attractive but because the glands in your wrists emit pheromones which can trigger feelings of attraction in others.
Take up yoga
A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women who regularly did yoga actually felt sexier. Why? Researchers say it could be because yoga encourages a stronger mind-body connection.
Test out some sexy lingerie
Along the way, lingerie became synonymous with tawdry—dare we day porn-y—pieces that look as if they belong on people eagerly awaiting the arrival of the hot young pizza delivery guy. And while that’s true in some respects, there’s also quite a lot of very elegantly sexy underpinnings out there that are sexy without being tacky.
Don't assume showing more is sexier
You’ve heard it before: Showing tons of skin does not always translate to sexy. Bootie shorts, skin-tight clothes, insanely low-cut tops all can make you look less sexy, or like you’re trying too hard. Love your body and want to show it off? Great! Do it ways that are truly sexy, as opposed to flashy.
Unfollow people who make you feel insecure
Whether it’s the one fashion blogger who only posts bikini shots, a specific celebrity, or Victoria’s Secret’s Instagram, stop following people whose social media photos make you feel less than, even for a second. Social media is supposed to fun, not make you feel less sexy.
Yeah, we’re going there. People who masturbate know exactly what they like when they’re intimate with someone else, which only increases their sex appeal.
Find a good tailor
When clothes are too boxy, too long, or generally ill-fitting, it looks like you’re trying to cover up your body, which intrinsically translates to generally un-sexy. No need to prance around in skin-tight numbers, but a well-fitting dress with a nipped waist and a flattering hemline, a blazer that skims your body (and whose sleeves aren’t too long), or pair of slim well-fitting jeans that just hit your ankle will show your figure in a way that’s sexy without being overt.
Stop plucking your eyebrows
Full brows are associated with youth, while super-thin eyebrows can give your face a harsh appearance. As we age, our eyebrows gradually thin, but quitting the tweezers and using makeup to fill them in can work wonders, and completely change your face for the better.