I once read that what you put up with, you end up with, and that one sentence never left me. I refuse to put up with shit because I refuse to end up with shit and that is all there is to it.
I’m headstrong, sarcastic, opinionated, loud, and every one of my thoughts is written blatantly across my face. This is probably why I’m still single. I’m good with that. What you don’t see at first glance is that I love SO hard and I will make an incredible wife…. to the right man

Some say I’m picky; I say that I have standards. Ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing wrong with either. There’s a chance I won’t find what I’m looking for and after much reflection, I know that I’m good with that life too.

1. I love hard and you should too

I refuse to just exist with someone. Carrie Bradshaw said it best. “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t live without each other love”

2. Loyalty
If you can’t be as loyal as an old dog, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

3. Kindness, Respect, and Manners
Please and thank you still go a long way with me. A person who is not kind to the waiter is not a kind person. Don’t put on a show for me and expect me to overlook your behavior towards people you don’t know.

4. Intelligence

I Just cannot!

5. A humble heart

Boastful and cocky are simply obnoxious.

6. I need you to need things from me

My soul feeds off of making others happy.

7. Humor
The ability to make me laugh is a requirement… so is the ability to laugh at yourself

8. Let’s talk about babies

I’m good with being a mom. I am also good if that is a title I never get. I need you to be daddy material but also be okay if it turns out to be just us.

9. A compassionate soul

10. Effort
There is no chance that I will be okay with putting in 100 percent while you consistently put in significantly less.

11. Thoughtfulness

Flowers on a random Thursday will get you so many more brownie points than flowers on Valentines Day

12. Responsible and dependable

I handle my own shit and I am not looking to sign up to be a grown ass man’s momma.

13. An incomparable work ethic

I have one. Do you?

14. Equality
I need a man who can bring home the bacon and fry it too.

Just believe me when I say, I know what I bring to the table, and I’m not afraid to eat alone!

By Kaylen Simmons.

Want to stop settling? Click here

What you put up with, you end up with!

People settle for mediocrity in many aspects of their lives on a daily basis. We accept jobs we hate, we deal with friends who let us down and we let our significant others get away with sh*t. Why do people choose to be complacent instead of moving where there are better opportunities? Life is just one big cost-benefit analysis; we make decisions by comparing the outcomes of different courses of actions. People assume that certain actions should not be taken unless the benefits outweigh the costs. It is the fundamental evaluation behind practically every decision a person will make in his or her life. “It’s easier sometimes to be stuck in a familiar rut or habit, albeit a depressing one, than to look outside the habit and have a life that is more desirable.” People are terrified of change, failure and taking risks. This is one of the main reasons people settle in life. It's not about unrealistic goals or perfection. It is about changing the things you can to be happy, not simply drifting along in life and complaining. It is far easier to settle than it is to leave our comfort zone. We create endless excuses to justify our complacency and all that it will result in is our looking back with regret and a slightly bruised ego, wishing we hadn't settled. We settle in our relationships too because we are scared to be alone and lose the stability a relationship offers. Fear paralyzes people and holds them back. Many people suffer with tremendous amounts of self-doubt and are unable to believe they are good enough. There are always better options out there, but too many people have low self-esteem, which prevents them from realizing this. It's better to be alone than it is to want to be alone. “Change the way you think, change the way you feel, raise the bar and don't settle for mediocrity.” As technology evolves, our levels of patience have been dwindling. We lack fortitude as a society and unfortunately make the mistake of choosing the first option presented to us. Some people are tired of dating or being alone, so they pick up the first person that says the right thing. It takes time, effort and patience to find the right person. This also applies to life goals such as embarking on a new career path. Things worth having take a lot of time and effort, which many people do not want to exert either. Although something may not be what someone really wants, it is likely that it has become a habit and it's more comfortable to maintain the status quo than to challenge themselves. You have to fight through all the obstacles that lie between where you are and where you want to be. “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for" People are lazy; they don't want to have to make too much of an effort even though they are unhappy in their present situation. They lack the confidence, ambition and drive necessary to succeed. Many times, people get so frustrated with life that they feel that settling for something will create the happiness they desire. People will constantly complain about their present situations, but will do nothing about it. They have to want to change these things. We use the past as a crutch to justify the reason we put up with different things. We need to stop trying to use the past to validate the present, if anything we should use it to motivate us to act differently. “He that deserves nothing should be content with anything." Mediocrity is a place where people often get stuck and do not know how to escape. This is a mindset that can only be changed with mind renewal. In order to move from this place, one must think differently, get rid of what hasn't worked, connect with those who can give sound direction, design a plan of action and put that plan in motion. Life is way too short to settle for anything less than what we truly want. The only way to embrace your potential is to stop settling. We are only limiting ourselves and wasting our precious time. The moment we begin to settle in the most important roles of our lives is the moment we begin to die a slow death. Excellence is a place where people who refuse to settle for mediocrity live; it is where one reaps from all the hard work sown. It is a journey of continuous progression toward the goals in your life.

Source: By Ashley Fern

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