PS you need a billionaire mansion to own these billionaire pets
YOU’RE TOO BROKE TO OWN THESE PETS (And I’m Not Sorry)**

Listen to me, peasant. Let me make this crystal clear: the world isn’t fair. While you’re scraping pennies together to feed your mangy house cat, there’s a stratosphere of elite humans—*actual winners*—who flex with pets so rare, so ludicrously expensive, your brain can’t even process their existence. These aren’t animals. They’re **billionaire status symbols**, and unless you’re swimming in Bugatti money, you’ll never touch one.

**WATCH ME CALL YOU POOR IN 17,000 LANGUAGES.**

You think a golden retriever is “exotic”? Cute. Let’s talk about the **real** flexes—creatures so unattainable, they’re basically mythical to anyone outside the 0.0001%.

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### **1. THE KANGAROO: $50,000+ (AND NO, AUSTRALIA WON’T LET YOU STEAL ONE)**
You want a kangaroo? Good luck. First, you’ll need a private zoo permit, a team of lawyers to navigate international wildlife laws, and a 50-acre “mansion” with terrain that mimics the Outback. Oh, and they’ll headbutt your Lamborghini into scrap metal if you don’t build them a custom gym.

**Cost breakdown:**
– **Kangaroo itself:** $50k (black market? Enjoy prison).
– **Mansion expansion:** $5M for open grasslands, heated pools, and anti-escape laser grids.
– **24/7 Marsupial Whisperer:** $200k/year salary (they better know CPR).

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### **2. FUSAICHI PEGASUS’ GREAT-GRANDSON: $10 MILLION (JUST FOR THE SPERM)**
Racehorses? Child’s play. We’re talking **Fusaichi Pegasus**, the Derby-winning godhorse whose offspring sell for more than your hometown. His DNA is locked behind a velvet rope thicker than your life savings.

**Cost breakdown:**
– **Stud fee:** $500k (per *session*).
– **Stable palace:** $3M (marble floors, crystal troughs, air-conditioned galloping tracks).
– **Entourage:** $1M/year for trainers, masseuses, and a horse psychologist (yes, that’s real).

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### **3. LAVENDER ALBINO BALL PYTHON: $40,000 (IT’S A SNAKE, BUT YOU’RE THE ONE GETTING SQUEEZED)**
This neon nightmare is the Gucci of reptiles. One slip-up with the humidity levels and your $40k investment turns into snake jerky.

**Cost breakdown:**
– **The snake:** $40k (rare morphs only).
– **Bio-dome habitat:** $250k (climate-controlled, Instagram-ready).
– **Herpetologist on speed dial:** $150k/year (because you’re not qualified to scrape scale mites).

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### **4. TIBETAN MASTIFF: $1.5 MILLION (IT’S A DOG, BUT IT OWNS YOU)**
This fluffy beast is the ultimate guard dog—if by “guard” you mean “requires a personal army to guard *it*.” The most expensive dog in history sold for $1.9M, and it probably eats truffle-wagyu steak daily.

**Cost breakdown:**
– **The dog:** $1.5M+ (if you can find one that doesn’t bite your face off).
– **Security compound:** $10M (electric fences, panic rooms, and a moat).
– **Full-time handler:** $300k/year (must speak Tibetan and have Navy SEAL training).

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### **5. THE CHIMPANZEE MAFIA: $100,000+ (AND THEY’LL STEAL YOUR GIRL)**
Chimps are smarter than you, stronger than you, and legally classified as “ticking time bombs.” But hey, nothing says “I own the planet” like a primate butler serving you martinis.

**Cost breakdown:**
– **Chimpanzee:** $100k (black market, again—hope you like lawsuits).
– **Primate penthouse:** $1M (jungle gyms, 24/7 streaming of *Planet of the Apes*).
– **Vet on retainer:** $500k/year (stitching up your face after it mauls you).

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### **THE UNBREAKABLE RULE: SLAY CLUB WORLD CONCIERGE (OR STAY POOR)**
You think you can just Google “buy kangaroo”? Pathetic. These pets are gated behind the **Slay Club World Concierge**—a $30,000/year golden ticket for the ultra-rich who laugh at “problems” like morals or budgets.

**Slay Club perks:**
– “Ethical” wildlife trafficking (they’ll call it “conservation”).
– Bribes to governments handled discreetly.
– A hotline to Elon Musk’s exotic vet.

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### **TOTAL COST TO FLEX LIKE A BILLIONAIRE:**
– **Mansion(s):** $20M+ (multiple habitats, obviously).
– **Slay Club membership:** $30k/year (chump change).
– **Staff:** $2M/year (nannies, guards, therapists for the chimpanzee).
– **Maintenance:** $500k/year (food, repairs, bail money).

**GRAND TOTAL: $25 MILLION+ (AND YOUR SOUL)**

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### **STILL READING, BROKE BOY?**
You couldn’t afford the *food bill* for these pets. You’re out here stressing about rent while legends are building zoos in their 50-bedroom compounds. Wake up. The world belongs to those who **TAKE IT**.

Either join Slay Club World concierge , grind harder than a diamond drill, or stay poor. Your choice.

PS: Your apartment is too small for a goldfish.

*-CHUDI OUT* don’t DM me I’m not in the mood to talk

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