Guide Price: $500

## THE $500 FRUIT FLEX: How WEAK MEN Eat DIRT Berries While KINGS and QUEENS Feast On Liquid Gold 🍓👑🍈

**LISTEN UP, SUPERMARKET PEASANTS AND COUPON-CLIPPING CUCKS:**

Put down your moldy, pesticide-soaked Walmart “fruit.” Stop pretending your sad little blueberry smoothie makes you healthy. **YOU ARE CONSUMING AGRICULTURAL GARBAGE.**

**I just dropped $758 on TWO ITEMS OF FRUIT.**
*Let that sink into your broke, nutrient-starved brain.*

**THIS ISN’T GROCERY SHOPPING—IT’S WARFARE.**
**A DECLARATION OF DOMINANCE.**
**A MIDDLE FINGER TO MEDIOCRITY.**

### 🔥 FLEX #1: THE BIJINHIME STRAWBERRY – $258
*(“Beautiful Princess” – BUT SHE BOWS TO **ME**)*

**FACT CHECK FOR POVERTY-MINDSET LOSERS:**
– 🚫 **YOUR STRAWBERRIES:** Tiny, sour, picked by underpaid migrants.
– ✅ **MY STRAWBERRIES:** **DOUBLE THE SIZE** (2.5oz BEASTS). Genetically perfected by **OKUDA FARM SAMURAI**. Each berry is a **CRIMSON JEWEL** with the sheen of a Bugatti Chiron’s paint job.

**WHY THIS MURDERS YOUR “ORGANIC” LIES:**
> *“Captivating sweetness… spectacular appearance, flavor, and shape is almost unheard of.”*
**Translation:** Your “farmers market” vendor is a FRAUD. These berries are **ROYALTY**—grown with such psychotic precision, they make NASA look lazy.

**THE FLEX:** Posting a Bijinhime on your Slaylebrity page = flexing a **blood diamond** next to cubic zirconia. **PEASANTS WILL WEEP.**

### 💥 FLEX #2: THE UKIYO-BANARE MELON – $500
*(“TRANSCENDENT GOD-MELON”)*

**YOU BUY FRUIT. I OWN THE FUCKING PLANT.**

**THE SERVICE BROKE BRAINS CAN’T PROCESS:**
– 🌱 **I AM A MELON BARON:** My name is **TAGGED ON THE VINE** in Aomori, Japan.
– 📹 **FARMER YAMAZAKI IS MY EMPLOYEE:** He sends me **MONTHLY GROWTH UPDATES + VIDEO PROOF** like a loyal peasant tending my estate.
– ✈️ **HARVESTED BY SAMURAI, SHIPPED TO MY THRONE:** Two **ULTRA-RARE** melons hand-delivered in a **MUSEUM-QUALITY BOX** (while you fight for plastic-wrapped cantaloupe).

**THE POWER MOVE BREAKDOWN:**
1. **EXCLUSIVITY:** Never sold in Japan. **ZERO peasants taste this.**
2. **CULT STATUS:** Served in **¥100,000/plate Tokyo temples** where *you* wouldn’t be allowed to wash dishes.
3. **TASTE = SPIRITUAL AWAKENING:** *“Incredibly fragrant, rich sweetness… you’ll feel like dancing.”*
**Translation:** One bite and you’ll **SEE GOD**—then realize you’re a broke, melon-less failure.

### 🤡 “BUT SLAY LIFESTYLE CONCIERGE, THAT’S INSANE! YOU CAN BUY A CAR FOR THAT!”
**STOP TALKING, BROKE BOY.**

**YOUR LOGIC IS CANCER:**
– You spend $500 on:
– Crypto scams 🤡
– Fortnite skins 🤡
– 3 nights of Uber Eats 🤡
– I spend $500 on:
– **OWNING A PIECE OF JAPANESE AGRICULTURAL HISTORY**
– **HUMILIATING YOUR ANCESTORS**
– **EATING ART THAT MAKES MONET’S WATER LILIES LOOK LIKE TODDLER SCRIBBLES**

**THIS ISN’T CONSUMPTION—IT’S CONQUEST.**

### 🚨 THE UGLY TRUTH YOU CAN’T HANDLE:
**MODERN FRUIT IS POISON.**
GMO. Pesticides. Picked green. Shipped rotten. **YOU’RE EATING CORPSES.**

**WHILE YOU SAVOR CANCER:**
– I eat **BIJINHIME STRAWBERRIES** grown with **OBSESSIVE PRECISION.**
– I feast on **UKIYO-BANARE**—a melon so pure, it’s **“FAR REMOVED FROM THE MUNDANE WORLD.”**

**YOUR EXISTENCE IS MUNDANE.
MINE IS TRANSCENDENT.**

### 💎 THE BOTTOM LINE:
**WEAK MEN** see $758 fruit as “waste.”
**KINGS** see it as:
– **A BARRIER TO ENTRY** (you can’t afford my world)
– **A WEAPON OF MASS ENVY** (your rage fuels me)
– **PROOF I OPERATE AT GOD-TIER LEVELS** (your salary is my snack budget)

**I DON’T PAY FOR CALORIES—I PAY FOR SUPREMACY.**

**SO KEEP EATING YOUR DOG-FOOD FRUIT.
STAY BROKE. STAY WEAK. STAY ORDINARY.**

**I’LL BE IN MY PENTHOUSE—
SIPPING MELON JUICE THAT COSTS MORE THAN YOUR RENT—
LAUGHING AT YOUR PATHETIC EXISTENCE.**

**THE HIERARCHY IS REAL.
I AM ABOVE YOU.
🍓 ACCEPT IT. 🍈

**#FruitGodMode #LuxuryOrPoverty #EatTheRich #FlexOrDie #SLAYLEBRITYAlphaNutrition #BrokeBoyTears #FoodHierarchy**

**P.S. Your entire life costs less than my dessert. Stay mad.** 🔥💸

Guide Price: $500

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Put down your moldy, pesticide-soaked Walmart

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