**EATALY’S NEW CAFFÈ IS HERE TO EXPOSE YOUR POVERTY (AND WHY YOU’LL STILL MISS IT)*
**Listen here, peasants and future foodies.**
I’m about to drop a truth bomb that’ll make your sad Starbucks habit look like sipping sewer water. The **WORLD’S FIRST EATALY CAFFÈ** just opened at Rockefeller Center, and if you’re not there by 5 PM sharp, you’re already **LOSING.**
### **“But Slay Lifestyle concierge , It’s Just a Café!”**
**WRONG.**
This isn’t your grandma’s dusty espresso joint. This is **EATALY’S FIRST STANDALONE EMPIRE**—where Italian luxury meets New York hustle. Exclusive merch. Food you can’t get anywhere else. Coffee so elite, it’ll make your Keurig cry.
And from May 15–18? **FREE GELATO** with any purchase. One per person? **FINE.** Bring your squad, your enemies, your ex—just **GET IN.**
—
### **Why This Isn’t For “Casuals”**
You think this is about *“coffee”*? **WAKE UP.** This is about **DOMINATION.**
**1. EXCLUSIVITY IS KING.**
Eataly’s merch isn’t for broke boys. It’s for **WOLVES** who flex their success. You want a “I ♥ NY” mug? Go rot in Times Square with the tourists.
**2. THE FOOD IS A FLEX.**
You won’t find this menu at the main store. This is **ITALY’S FINEST**—curated for the 1% who don’t settle for “good enough.”
**3. COFFEE? NO. **WEAPONIZED AMBITION.**
Eataly’s own coffee brand isn’t a drink—it’s **LIQUID DISCIPLINE.** Sip it and feel your loser habits dissolve.
—
### **The FREE GELATO HACK (For Smart Degens)**
May 15–18. Free scoop with any purchase. **ONE CATCH:** You actually have to **SHOW UP.**
You’ll see two types of people there:
1. **Losers** who take a selfie and leave.
2. **Kings** who buy 10 espressos, claim 10 free gelatos, and trade them for influence.
**GUESS WHICH ONE YOU ARE?**
—
### **The Hudson Yards Secret (For the Elite)**
Think Rockefeller Center’s the only play? **WRONG.** Another Eataly Caffè’s coming to Hudson Yards.
**Why?** Because the rich **NEVER STOP WINNING.** First-movers get the gelato. The VIPs get the empire.
—
### **How to Dominate This (Step-by-Step)**
**STEP 1: CANCEL YOUR PLANS.**
Your Pilates class? Your Tinder date? **IRRELEVANT.** Prioritize greatness.
**STEP 2: DRESS LIKE A BOSS.**
No yoga pants. No flip-flops. **SUIT UP.** You’re not here for crumbs—you’re here to conquer.
**STEP 3: BUY EVERYTHING.**
Exclusive merch? **GRAB IT.** Limited-edition pastries? **HOARD THEM.** This isn’t a café—it’s a **WAR CHEST.**
**STEP 4: POST IT. FLEX IT. MAKE THEM JEALOUS.**
Your Instagram’s a graveyard of loser meals. **FIX IT.** Tag Eataly. Tag me. Show the world you’re **BUILT DIFFERENT.**
—
### **The REAL Reason This Matters**
The world’s divided into two people:
1. **Sheep** who wait in line for Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
2. **Sharks** who hunt luxury, exclusivity, and power.
Eataly’s caffè isn’t a trend. **IT’S A TEST.**
Will you settle for mediocrity? Or will you **UPGRADE YOUR LIFE** with every sip, bite, and flex?
—
### **Final Warning:**
The free gelato ends May 18. The Hudson Yards launch? **SECRETS DON’T LAST.**
Your move, champ.
**GO TO EATALY. EAT LIKE A KING. OR STARVE WITH THE PEASANTS.**
*– Your Reality Check*
**🔥 P.S.** *Slaylebrity VIP concierge members don’t need to wait around starting in queues your concierge will stand in line for you [Join NOW]or watch from the kiddie table.*
**👉 [LEVEL UP HERE]👈**
*(Weakness smells like burnt Starbucks coffee.)*
LOCATION
Eataly Caffè Rockefeller Center. 1230 Avenue of the Americas New York, New York 10020
CONTACTS
(332) 233-5900
Rockefeller-guestrelations@eataly.com
Exclusive merch. Food you can’t get anywhere else. Coffee so elite, it’ll make your Keurig cry.
from May 15–18? **FREE GELATO** with any purchase. One per person? **FINE.** Bring your squad, your enemies, your ex—just **GET IN.**
