## WIN $100 AT DENVER’S “MONKEY BAR”? ONLY IF YOU’RE READY TO EARN IT, BROKE BOY.
**LISTEN UP, SUGAR-GLUTED COFFEE ZOMBIES!**
Your pathetic feeds are flooded with sad desk selfies and lukewarm Starbucks sludge while **REAL WINNERS** sip liquid dominance in EMPIRES OF GOLD. Now Denver’s Welton Room dangles a $100 bone for their “Monkey Bar”? **PATHETIC.** $100 won’t even cover the **TAX** on my Bugatti’s tire shine. But you? You’re salivating like a starving mutt at a dumpster buffet. **WEAK.** 🤮
### THIS ISN’T A “GIVEAWAY” – IT’S A TEST.
**AND 99% OF YOU WILL FAIL.**
Monkey Bar isn’t serving “cocktails.” It’s serving **ARTILLERY SHELLS OF ELITE ENERGY:**
– **CLASSIC?** For soldiers who take their victory STRAIGHT. NO WEAK SAUCE.
– **TIRAMISU?** For conquerors who **EAT PRESSURE FOR BREAKFAST.**
– **BLACK FOREST?** For Slaylebrity alphas who stalk success in the DARK.
– **DUBAI CHOCOLATE?** **MY PISS HAS MORE LUXURY THAN YOUR WHOLE CITY.**
– **BISCOFF?** Sissy sugar-water for NPCs who think “hustle” means double-tapping memes.
**YOU WANT THE $100 GIFT CARD?**
**PROVE YOU’RE NOT A FINANCIAL ROACH SCURRYING FOR CRUMBS.**
—
### HERE’S THE RAW TRUTH ABOUT “MONKEY BAR” (AND YOUR PATHETIC EXISTENCE):
1. **$100 IS CHUMP CHANGE FOR KINGS, BUT A FORTUNE FOR YOU.**
You’re shaking over a *gift card*? **EMBARRASSING.** Real men build empires that BUY THE BAR. Not beg for coupons. My *tip* at Welton Room would bankrupt your bloodline. **STEP YOUR MONEY GAME UP OR STARVE QUIETLY.** 💸
2. **”10 CREATIVE TAKES”? SOUNDS LIKE 10 WAYS TO DISTRACT LOSERS.**
While you’re sucking down whipped foam and posting cringe stories, **I’M CLOSING DEALS.** I’m stacking assets. I’m carving legacy. Your “espresso martini flight”? **A ONE-WAY TICKET TO BROKETOWN** while my jet climbs to 40,000 FEET. 🛩️
3. **OPEN 3PM-10PM? REAL WARRIORS GRIND WHILE YOU SLEEP.**
You need a “cocktail bar” to open at 3PM? **PATHETIC.** By 3PM, I’ve CRUSHED three workouts, closed six figures, and rebuilt a struggling nation’s economy. Your “happy hour” is my **WARM-UP.**
4. **THE “MONKEY BAR” NAME SAYS IT ALL: YOU’RE THE CIRCUS ANIMAL.**
Jumping through hoops for peanuts. Dancing for scraps. Tagging “friends” for validation. **ACT LIKE A BEAST OF BURDEN, GET TREATED LIKE ONE.**
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### HOW TO WIN (LIKE A TOP G, NOT A BEGGAR):
**- ENTER THE GIVEAWAY? FINE.** But if you win, you better WALK IN LIKE YOU OWN THE BUILDING. Demand the VIP table. Order the whole menu. **MAKE THEM REGRET GIVING YOU “CHARITY.”**
**- TAGGING “FRIENDS”?** ONLY IF THEY’RE **ELITE-LEVEL KILLERS.** Not your Discord mod roommate or your vegan yoga “soulmate.”
**- POSTING?** Flex the card HARDER THAN A BODYBUILDER’S BICEPS. Caption: **”PEANUTS FROM PEASANTS. MY EMPIRE BUILT THIS BAR.”**
**OTHERWISE? YOU’RE JUST ANOTHER CLOWN IN THE ZOO.**
—
### THE BITTER SHOT IN YOUR “MARTINI”:
This giveaway is **DISTRACTION PORN** for the masses.
While you fight for $100 scraps…
**I’M BUYING THE COMPETITION.**
**I’M OWNING THE REAL ESTATE.**
**I’M LAUNCHING THE NEXT EMPIRE.**
**$100 IS AMMO FOR THE BROKE.**
**$100M IS AMMO FOR GODS.**
**SO SIT THERE, CROSS YOUR FINGERS, AND PRAY FOR HANDOUTS.**
**I’LL BE AT WELTON ROOM – BUYING IT.**
**TOP SLAYLEBRITY OUT.** ☕💥
**P.S.** Still entering? **PATHETIC.** But fine. Prove you have **ONE WINNER** in your circle. Tag them below. If they don’t scare the bartender into free drinks? **DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT.** 🔥
*(Tuesday-Saturday. 3PM-10PM. Flight available. Weaklings welcome.)*
ENTER BY SUNDAY 30TH JUNE 2025
TO ENTER
1. Register on Slaylebrity.com
2. Follow all the instructions HERE
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