## TYLER PERRY’S “STRAW”: A CINEMATIC WAR CRIME & THE SHEEPLE APPLAUDING IT! WAKE THE HELL UP!
**LISTEN CLOSE. I’VE HAD ENOUGH.**
Someone needs to say it. Someone needs to **BLAST THROUGH THE BULLSHIT** fogging up your brainwashed little minds. So here it is, raw and unfiltered: **TYLER PERRY’S “STRAW” ISN’T A MOVIE. IT’S A DUMPSTER FIRE MASQUERADING AS ART, AND THE FACT ANYONE IS CALLING IT “GOOD” IS PROOF POSITIVE THE STANDARDS HAVE CRATERED INTO THE ABYSS!**
**DID YOU PEOPLE WATCH THE SAME FILM I DID?!** Or were you too busy mainlining the copium of “representation” to notice the **ABSOLUTE TRAINWRECK** unfolding on screen? Let me dissect this carcass for you, since apparently, critical thinking is as dead as the “acting” in this farce.
**1. THE “ACTING”: A MASTERCLASS IN ROBOTIC INCOMPETENCE (EXCEPT TARAJI, GOD BLESS HER SOUL FOR TRYING).**
Forget chemistry. Forget spark. Forget anything resembling **HUMAN EMOTION!** Most of these performers delivered lines like they were reading the terms and conditions off a bottle of drain cleaner! **SOULLESS! WOODEN! EMBARRASSING!** It felt like watching AI generated by a Commodore 64 trying to simulate passion. “Reciting a grocery list”? **GENEROUS!** It was like watching hostages forced to read propaganda at gunpoint. **PATHETIC!** Only Taraji P. Henson brought a flicker of life, a glimpse of **ACTUAL CRAFT**, to this disaster zone. Why she wasted her undeniable talent on this cinematic equivalent of a wet fart is beyond me. Money talks, I guess. Loudly. **SHAMEFUL.**
**2. THE PRODUCTION: “TUBI VIBES”? INSULTING… TO TUBI!**
You nailed it. This wasn’t just low-budget; it was **NO-EFFORT, NO-CARE, NO-RESPECT-FOR-THE-AUDIENCE CHEAP!** Boom mics playing peek-a-boo? **AMATEUR HOUR.** Lighting that looked like it was done with a single flickering flashlight? **LAZY.** Editing so jarring it felt like the film had a seizure? **UNFORGIVABLE.** Scenes stitched together with the finesse of a blind toddler wielding a staple gun? **ABSOLUTE GARBAGE.** This wasn’t a theatrical release; it was a **ROUGH CUT REJECTED FROM A COMMUNITY COLLEGE FILM CLASS!** Tyler Perry built studios? Great. Maybe invest in a **DIRECTOR WHO KNOWS WHAT A DOLLY SHOT IS** and a **CREW THAT GIVES A SINGLE DAMN!**
**3. THE WRITING: A STEW OF STALE STEREOTYPES AND PLOT HOLES YOU COULD DRIVE A TANK THROUGH.**
Oh, the *struggling Black woman* trope! **AGAIN!** Groundbreaking! Perry found a formula – a **LAZY, EXPLOITATIVE, CREATIVELY BANKRUPT FORMULA** – and he’s milking it drier than the Sahara. The dialogue? **UNNATURAL. FORCED. CLUNKY.** People don’t talk like that! Unless they’re poorly written NPCs in a bargain-bin video game. The plot twists? Predictable from the first frame. The “realism”? **NON-EXISTENT!** It was a parade of clichés strung together with the narrative coherence of a fever dream. **INCONSISTENCIES?** More like the entire damn foundation was built on quicksand! This script wasn’t written; it was **VOMITED ONTO A PAGE DURING A HANGOVER!**
**4. THE TYLER PERRY HUSTLE: GENIUS OR CYNICAL EXPLOITATION?**
Respect the hustle? **FINE.** He identified a market: people desperate to see themselves on screen, ANY screen, regardless of quality. He feeds them **LOW-EFFORT, HIGH-RETURN SMUT.** He churns out factory-line “content” designed for maximum profit with minimal artistic investment. **IT’S A BUSINESS MODEL, NOT A FILMMAKING LEGACY.** He’s giving “the people what they want”? **HE’S GIVING THEM THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR AND BANKING ON THEIR GRATITUDE FOR SCRAPS!** It’s **PREDATORY!** It tells talented Black actors and crews: “*Settle for this. This is your lane.*” **IT’S A TRAP!** It tells audiences: “*You don’t deserve better. Eat this gruel and be happy.*” **IT’S AN INSULT!**
**”BUT THE MESSAGE!” SHUT UP!**
A good message delivered with **ABYSMAL EXECUTION IS WORTHLESS!** Worse, it’s **COUNTERPRODUCTIVE!** It makes the struggle look cheap. It makes the pain look like a soap opera. **A BAD MOVIE WITH A “GOOD” MESSAGE IS STILL A BAD MOVIE!** Stop excusing incompetence because you agree with the theme! **DEMAND BOTH!**
**THE VERDICT?**
“Straw” isn’t just bad. It’s **OFFENSIVE.** It’s an insult to the intelligence of its audience. It’s a waste of Taraji P. Henson’s talent. It’s proof that Tyler Perry values his assembly line and his bank account **FAR MORE** than the craft of filmmaking or the dignity of the stories he supposedly tells. It’s **CINEMATIC MALPRACTICE.**
**WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!**
Stop applauding **MEDIOCRITY** wrapped in representation! Stop making excuses for **LAZINESS!** Stop funding this **CREATIVE APOCALYPSE!** If you keep consuming this trash and calling it “good,” you are **PART OF THE PROBLEM!**
**DEMAND BETTER. DESERVE BETTER. STOP SETTLING FOR TYLER PERRY’S FACTORY REJECTS!**
**THIS MOVIE WAS TRASH. PERIOD.**
**TOP SLAYLEBRITY OUT.**
**(P.S. If you liked “Straw,” seek professional help. Your taste buds – cinematic and otherwise – are clearly broken.)**
TYLER PERRY’S STRAW: A CINEMATIC WAR CRIME & THE SHEEPLE APPLAUDING IT! WAKE THE HELL UP!
