# Warning: This Apple Pie Croissant Will Make You Moan—Do Not Eat in Public
Alright, ladies and gents, if you don’t take this warning seriously, you’re in for a helluva public spectacle. This Apple Pie Croissant is not for the faint-hearted. Picture this: an explosion of flavors, the crunch of a perfectly toasted croissant, the sweet and gooey apple pie filling oozing out, and the rich almond filling tying it all together. It’s dangerously seductive.
## Superior Ingredients for a Superior Experience
Listen, you’re not eating just another croissant here. You’re entering a realm of culinary ecstasy that demands respect.
### **For 4 Large or 8 Mini Croissants:**
– **4 Large or 8 Mini Croissants:** These need to be at least 1 or 2 days old. Fresh ones won’t soak up the deliciousness like they should.
– **Powdered Sugar & Sliced Almonds:** For that topping worth bragging about.
### **Apple Pie Filling:**
– **2 Large Apples, Peeled & Cut into 1” Pieces:** Granny Smith is my go-to because why settle for less?
– **2 tbsp Salted Butter:** Don’t skimp on the salty butter; it balances the sweetness.
– **2 tbsp Brown Sugar:** Adds that deep, molasses flavor.
– **2 tbsp Maple Syrup:** Because who doesn’t like that golden sweetness?
– **½ tsp Cinnamon & ½ tsp Apple Pie Spice:** No questions, just do it.
### **Almond Filling:**
– **10 tbsp Salted Butter, Softened:** Creamy and rich.
– **2 Eggs:** Makes it all bind together just right.
– **2 Cups Almond Flour:** To add that luxurious texture.
– **1 Cup Granulated Sugar:** Sweet but not too sweet.
– **3 tsp Almond Extract & 2 tsp Vanilla Extract:** Aromatics that will make your kitchen smell divine.
– **½ tsp Salt:** Balances flavors perfectly.
### **Simple Syrup:**
– **1 Cup Sugar & ½ Cup Water:** Basic but essential. This is the secret weapon to keeping that croissant from drying out.
## Instructions – Adapt or Die
Tricking your taste buds into a frenzy needs precise preparation. Follow these steps to the T, or face the consequences of mediocrity.
1. **Preheat the Oven to 330F:** Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. You don’t want these beauties sticking.
2. **Prepare the Apple Pie Filling:** In a medium skillet over medium heat, melt the butter. Add apple pieces, brown sugar, maple syrup, cinnamon, and apple pie spice. Mix until brown sugar is melted. Simmer for 3-5 minutes until it’s glossy and the apples are slightly cooked. Set this beauty aside.
3. **Prepare the Simple Syrup:** Heat sugar and water in a small pot just until the sugar is dissolved. Set aside.
4. **Make the Almond Filling:** Mix all ingredients in a medium bowl until well-combined. Transfer to a piping bag or ziplock baggie with the corner snipped off. Set aside.
5. **Assemble:** Slice the croissants in half, and place them onto the prepared baking sheet. Brush the bottom of each croissant generously with simple syrup. Spoon or pipe half of the almond filling onto the bottom halves, reserve the rest for topping. Divide the apple pie filling among the croissants, placing it on top of the almond filling. Close the croissants with the tops. Brush the tops with more simple syrup. Generously spoon or pipe the remaining almond filling on top.
Finish with a sprinkle of powdered sugar and sliced almonds before putting them into that hot oven. Bake until golden brown and smelling like heaven on earth.
### **Final Warning: Handle with Caution**
This is next-level, peak indulgence. It might even get a little R-rated. So, take heed. Don’t eat these in public unless you’re ready to handle the consequences—a burst of pleasure that might make you embarrass yourself. Keep it private, keep it steamy, and enjoy every sinful bite.
Picture this: an explosion of flavors, the crunch of a perfectly toasted croissant, the sweet and gooey apple pie filling oozing out, and the rich almond filling tying it all together. It’s dangerously seductive.
