**Pasta and Bastaa: The ONLY Restaurant Where Winners Feast (And Why Your Basic Ass is Still Eating Microwave Meals)”
Listen up, peasants. You think you’ve tasted *luxury* because you shoved a dry Wagyu steak down your throat at some overhyped tourist trap? **Pathetic.** Let me school you on **real opulence**—a place where Italian tradition collides with Russian audacity, and losers like you aren’t even allowed to *smell* the menu. Welcome to **Pasta and Bastaa**, the Sretenka Boulevard fortress where food isn’t eaten—it’s **WEAPONIZED**. Buckle up, or keep crying into your instant ramen.
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### **1. THIS ISN’T A RESTAURANT. IT’S A F***ING POWER MOVE.**
You walk into Pasta and Bastaa, and the first thing you notice? **You don’t belong here.** The air smells like truffle oil and dominance. The centerpiece? A **monstrous Italian-tiled oven** where they forge pizzas so elite, they come with their own bodyguards.
– **The Plates?** Hand-painted masterpieces that cost more than your car.
– **The Chef?** A culinary warlord who laughs at your “foodie” Instagram posts.
– **The Clientele?** Oligarchs, moguls, and people who’d buy your soul for a bite of their dessert.
This isn’t dinner. **This is a flex.**
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### **2. THE MENU: A BATTLE PLAN FOR THE TASTE BUDS**
Weaklings order off menus. **Kings** demand *experiences*. Let’s break down why Pasta and Bastaa’s dishes are for the **0.001%**:
**🥗 Papaya, Far Eastern Crab & Ginger Salad (1350₽)**
“Sweet papaya” and “spicy ginger” sound basic? **Wrong.** This is a *declaration of war* on your palate. The crab isn’t from the sea—it’s from the **edge of the Earth**, caught by divers who’ve never tasted defeat. Order this, or admit you’re a chicken nugget peasant.
**🍅 Tomato Soup with Homemade Ricotta (650₽)**
You think soup is for grandmas? **Pathetic.** This is liquid dominance—a rich, creamy *ambush* of flavor that’ll make your nonna weep. The ricotta? Made by a dude who probably owns a vineyard. **Eat it or stay poor.**
**🍕 Anchovy Pizza with Parmesan & Capers (1650₽)**
“Too salty”? **Spoken like someone who seasons their food with tears.** This pizza is a dare. Thin crust, loaded with toppings that scream, *“I have a palate refined by victory.”* If you’re scared, stick to Domino’s.
**🦀 Linguine with Kamchatka Crab (1450₽)**
Kamchatka crab isn’t food—it’s a **trophy**. The pasta? Imported from Italy in a private jet. The sauce? A sweet-tomatoey *dagger* to the heart of mediocrity. Eat this, and you’ll finally understand why you’re single.
**🍝 Egg Tagliolini with Black Truffle (1250₽)**
“More sauce”? **Shut your mouth.** This pasta is hand-rolled by artisans who’ve never heard of your existence. The truffle? Shaved by a guy in a tuxedo. You’re not paying for food—you’re paying for **a lesson in excellence.**
**🐚 Dessert “Pearl” (750₽)**
A *pearlescent sphere* filled with mango and yogurt mousse? This isn’t dessert. **It’s art.** Basic bitches post ice cream cones. Winners post this—then watch their exes spiral.
**🍋 Lemon Pie with Italian Meringue (650₽)**
“Classic”? **No.** This pie is a *symphony* of citrus and ego. The meringue? Whipped by angels who’ve abandoned heaven to work here. Order two, or live with regret.
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### **3. THE BILLIONAIRE MINDSET: HOW TO EAT HERE (AND NOT LOOK BROKE)**
You think you can just *waltz* into Pasta and Bastaa? **Delusional.**
– **Rule 1:** Bring cash. **No, more than that.**
– **Rule 2:** Dress like you own a yacht. *Because you should.*
– **Rule 3:** Never ask for substitutions. The chef isn’t your mommy.
Pro tip: If you check the prices, **you’re already losing.** Burn the receipt. Post the meal. Tag your enemies.
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### **4. WHY YOU’LL NEVER BE INVITED BACK (UNLESS YOU LEVEL UP)**
Let’s be real—**90% of you reading this can’t afford the breadsticks.** Pasta and Bastaa isn’t for “foodies.” It’s for **conquerors**.
– While you’re crying over Uber Eats fees, elites are here closing deals over truffle pasta.
– While you’re microwaving leftovers, winners are biting into the “Pearl” dessert like it’s the heart of their rivals.
This restaurant isn’t just a meal. **It’s a membership.** And guess what? **You’re not on the list.**
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### **5. FINAL WARNING: DOMINATE OR STARVE**
You have two choices:
1. Keep eating at “trendy” cafes where the only spice is the staff’s disdain for you.
2. **Grow a pair**, book a table at Pasta and Bastaa, and taste what *real power* feels like.
Tick tock. The oven’s hot. The crab’s fresh. **What’s your move?**
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**Drop a � if you’d sell your soul for a seat. Comment “EMPIRE” for the secret password to skip the 6-month waitlist. VIP MEMBERS ONLY
#PeasantsEatElsewhere #BastaaOrBust #LuxuryIsServed #NoRefundsForLosers**
*Mic drop. 🍝🔥*
Location
Sretensky Boulevard/Turgenevskaya; 4 Sretensky Blvd
Moscow Russia
Contacts
+7 495 624-52-52
MAKE A BOOKING OR PLACE AN ORDER
THIS ISN’T A RESTAURANT. IT’S A F***ING POWER MOVE.**
You walk into Pasta and Bastaa, and the first thing you notice? **You don’t belong here.**
The air smells like truffle oil and dominance. The centerpiece? A **monstrous Italian-tiled oven** where they forge pizzas so elite, they come with their own bodyguards.
Weaklings order off menus. **Kings** demand *experiences
Pasta and Bastaa’s dishes are for the **0.001%
You think you can just *waltz* into Pasta and Bastaa? **Delusional.** - **Rule 1:** Bring cash. **No, more than that.**
