**YOUR BODY IS TRASH. HERE’S HOW TO STOP LOOKING LIKE A WALMART VERSION OF A HUMAN (OR KEEP COPIUM-ING)**

Listen up, peasant.
You think your “dad bod” is “relatable”? Or that your flabby arms and soft gut are “good enough”? **WRONG.** Your body isn’t a temple. It’s a *dumpster fire* screaming, *“I’ve given up on life.”*

Meanwhile, **MY BODY?** A *war machine*. A *six-figure flex*. A **LIVING INSULT** to your excuses.

If you’re too lazy, too weak, or too *delusional* to face this truth, close this tab. Go back to scrolling TikTok in your stained sweatpants.

But for the **REAL** Slaylebrity alphas? The ones who want to *dominate*?

Let’s talk facts.

—

### **1. YOUR “GENETICS” EXCUSE IS PATHETIC (AND I’M LAUGHING)**
“B-b-but my metabolism!” **SHUT UP.** You think I was born shredded? **NO.** I was born *hungry*.

Genetics don’t build abs. **HATE** does. Hate for weakness. Hate for mediocrity. Hate for looking in the mirror and seeing a *beta*.

You want a “fast metabolism”? **EARN IT.** Starve your excuses. Feast on discipline.

—

### **2. YOUR BODY IS A RECEIPT. AND YOU’RE BROKE.**
Every saggy inch of you *screams* your life choices:
– *“I prioritize Netflix over deadlifts.”*
– *“I eat carbs like a medieval peasant.”*
– *“I think ‘cheat day’ means a whole pizza.”*

**MY BODY?** It’s a **BILLBOARD** for domination. Every vein, every cut, every *atom* screams: *“I own you.”*

You think this is vanity? **NO.** This is *war*. And while you’re snacking, I’m *winning*.

—

### **3. “BUT I DON’T HAVE TIME TO GYM!” — SAID EVERY LOSER EVER**
You have time to scroll Instagram. To binge *Love Island*. To cry about your “mental health.”

**TIME ISN’T THE PROBLEM. YOU ARE.**

I train 2 hours a day. *Minimum*. While you’re hitting snooze, I’m hitting PRs. While you’re ordering Uber Eats, I’m *fasting*.

You don’t “lack time.” You lack **AMBITION**.

—

### **4. HERE’S WHY YOUR BODY SUCKS (AND MINE DOESN’T)**
– **DIET:** You eat “comfort food.” I eat *fuel*. Grass-fed steak. Free-range eggs. Supplements that cost more than your car payment.
– **TRAINING:** You do 10 half-assed push-ups. I *bleed* in the gym. Every rep is a *promise*: *“I will outwork you.”*
– **MINDSET:** You “treat yourself.” I *torture myself*. Because pain is the price of glory.

Your body is a participation trophy. **MINE IS A WEAPON.**

—

### **5. “BUT I’M HAPPY WITH MY BODY!” — COPE HARDER, SNACKER**
Of course you’re “happy.” *Losers love comfort*.

You know what’s better than happiness? **POWER.**

When you walk into a room and *physically* outclass every beta? When your reflection makes your enemies *seethe*? When your shirt rips not because it’s cheap, but because your back is *too wide*?

**THAT’S WORTH EVERY DROP OF SWEAT.**

—

### **6. HOW TO FIX YOUR TRASH BODY (IF YOU’RE STRONG ENOUGH)**
**Step 1:** Throw out your *processed garbage*. If it has a barcode, it’s **POISON**.
**Step 2:** Lift until you puke. Then lift more.
**Step 3:** Sleep 8 hours. *No exceptions.*
**Step 4:** Repeat for 5 years. *No excuses.*
**Step 5:** Wake up *unrecognizable*.

—

**BOTTOM LINE:**
Your body isn’t “yours.” It’s a *public service announcement* of your failures.

Upgrade it… or live with the shame.

**P.S.** If this post hurt your feelings, *good*. Let that pain fuel your first sit-up.

*(Link to my fitness Channel. Winners click. Losers keep eating Cheetos.)* 💪🔥

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