Listen up, peasants.
While you’re lining up for your sad burrito bowls and pretending you’ve experienced luxury, a real predator class is taking over Hudson Yards. This isn’t just another restaurant opening. This is a statement. This is Limusina.
I just infiltrated this fortress, and your comprehension of a “night out” is about to be violently upgraded.
The team behind empires like Don Angie and Quality Italian didn’t come to play. They came to conquer . They took a dead space—a literal parking garage for city buses—and alchemized it into a three-level temple of power and desire . The name means “limousine” . Let that sink in. You don’t just go here. You arrive.
This is the billionaire wife vibe you keep chattering about on your pathetic podcasts. You can’t comprehend it because you don’t have the frame of reference. It’s not just about money; it’s about a savage level of taste and the absolute refusal to accept mediocrity.
🥩 This Is How You Eat. This Is How You Win.
Forget your simple tacos. The menu here is a gladiator arena for your senses. I attacked it. Here are the spoils of war.
Dish/Drink | Price Rating | The Verdict
Long Bone Short Rib Quesabirria | $75 12/10 | A showstopper. Build your own taco, dunk in consommé. A performance of power.
Flaca Cocktail | $18 10/10 | Mijenta Blanco, blood orange, serrano. I convinced 3 weak men near me to order it. They thanked me.
Filet Albondigas | $23 8/10 |Juicy, flavor-packed meatballs. A comforting but lethal appetizer.
Grilled Branzino | $48 8/10 |Perfectly cooked. The garlicky-green salsa is a zesty knockout punch.
Piña Picante (NA Cocktail) |$16 10/10 | One of the best non-alcoholic drinks I’ve had. Layered, refreshing, with a kick. Even their “fake” drinks are top-tier.
Tres Leches |$18 7.5/10 |A fun, interactive presentation. A solid finish for Slaylebrity champions.
The Guacamole is made with avocados from “Davocado Guy,” the premier purveyor. You think your supermarket avocados are the same? Delusional . The Lobster Al Pastor? Achiote butter, pineapple pico de gallo for $58 . This is how you convert wealth into experience.
The Matrix Is A Tajin Martini
The bar program is a psychological operation designed to liberate you from your boring old fashioned.
Their Tajin Martini is a dirty martini that went to war and came back a god—Tajin-infused tequila, house spicy brine . The Frozen Vampiro is a grapefruit and pomegranate sangrita masterpiece that will freeze the blood of your enemies . And the Mezcalero, with 400 Conejos Tobala Mezcal, is the smoke you taste before you take over a rival’s business .
This is not a place for “a few drinks.” This is a place for tactical inebriation.
Your Environment Dictates Your Value
The matrix wants you in a sterile, white, minimalist box. It crushes your spirit. Limusina is the antithesis.
GRT Architects crafted a retro-modern playground with raw concrete columns from the old garage, juxtaposed with luxe custom fixtures, peach-and-amber tones, and enough texture to make you feel alive . It’s a tribute to late ’70s New York—the glamorous and the gritty, side-by-side . There are hidden private dining rooms and a lower-level space with glossy green finishes that feel like a billionaire’s private swimming pool .
Every single inch is designed for the chicest night of your life. You sit in a booth here, and you are in command. You are photographed. You are the main character.
The Bottom Line
Your life is a reflection of the standards you accept. You accept a 45-minute wait for a table crammed next to screaming infants. You accept microwaved food and watered-down drinks.
Limusina exists for the 1% who refuse.
LOCATION
📍 Limusina – 441 9th Ave, NYC
10001. The corner of 34th and Ninth, in the heart of the transformed Penn District, the city’s new top ticket for dining .
· The Damage: Cocktails from $17-$38. Food from $17 to a $185 Tomahawk Prime Rib for two . Your wallet will feel it. A real Slaylebrity doesn’t care. The value is in the statement.
· The Move: Reservations are live on OpenTable . It’s brand new, so the herd is still gathering its courage. Go now. Book your table. Before the waiting list becomes a myth you tell your grandchildren about.
This is the new benchmark. This is the vibe. Most of you cannot afford it, and even if you can, you probably don’t have the mentality to handle it.
Top Slaylebrities? I’ll see you there. Everyone else, stay out of our way.
What color is your Limusina?
Dinner
Nightly from 5:00-11:00pm
Lunch
Monday-Friday 11:30am-3:00pm
Saturday & Sunday 11:00am-3:00pm
Limusina has four private event spaces, perfectly customizable to your needs. Whether you’re looking for an intimate 10-person dinner in the Mezcal Vault or an energetic cocktail party, they have spaces available. contact Denise Bryant at 212-838-2554 or dbryant@qualitybranded.com.
This is the billionaire wife vibe you keep chattering about on your pathetic podcasts. You can't comprehend it because you don't have the frame of reference.
It's not just about money; it's about a savage level of taste and the absolute refusal to accept mediocrity.
Forget your simple tacos. The menu here is a gladiator arena for your senses. I attacked it. This is how you convert wealth into experience.
