**WHITE LOTUS x FOUR SEASONS TEA? YOU’RE EITHER IN FIRST CLASS OR YOU’RE A PEASANT.**
Let me *school* you, because clearly, you’re still sipping dollar-store chamomile like a broke NPC. The **White Lotus x Four Seasons Bangkok collab** isn’t “afternoon tea” — it’s a **PSYCHOPATHIC FLEX** for the 0.001% who understand that **LUXURY IS WAR**. And if you’re not booking a flight *right now*, you’re already dead in the game.
—
### **THIS ISN’T TEA. IT’S A CULT.**
– **LIMITED EDITION?** Only until April 2025. Translation: **YOUR WINDOW TO PROVE YOU MATTER IS CLOSING.**
– **WHITE LOTUS THEME?** This isn’t a Netflix show — it’s a **SOCIAL EXPERIMENT** to see who’s willing to burn cash for clout.
– **FOUR SEASONS BANGKOK?** The same hotel where billionaires close deals on yachts *while* getting massages. You think they serve Lipton here? **WAKE UP.**
—
### **WHY YOU NEED TO GO NOW (OR FOREVER STAY A NOBODY):**
1. **THE MENU IS CAVIAR COCAINE.**
– Truffle-infused scones that cost more than your car.
– Gold-leaf matcha poured by waiters who’ve *literally* signed NDAs.
– A “mystery dessert” that’s rumored to include **DIAMOND DUST.**
2. **INSTAGRAM CLICKBAIT FOREVER.**
Post one story of this tea setup, and your followers will either **WORSHIP YOU** or block you out of jealousy. There’s no in-between.
3. **NETWORK WITH DEMIGODS.**
The person slurping tea next to you? They’re either a Saudi prince, a crypto whale, or **ME.** Bring business cards. Or don’t — *weakness disgusts me.*
—
### **HOW TO GET IN (IF YOU’RE NOT A LOSER):**
1. **CALL your SLAYLEBRITY VIP concierge .**
– **$30,000 PER year concierge fee ** to access their “emergency luxury booking” service.
– **flex for $10K a month on Slaylebrity ** (VIP membership) your experience at the lotus — remember spamming reservations is for peasants. Leave it to the concierge to handle the dirty deed.
– **NO GUARANTEES?** Good. The weak don’t deserve tables.
2. **USE SLAY CLUB WORLD CONCIERGE.**
These guys will helicopter you in from the airport, bribe the maître d’, and have a Rolex waiting at your seat. **COST?** Your dignity if you ask.
3. **LIE, CHEAT, OR STEAL.**
Forge a reservation. Bribe a staffer. **DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.** The rules don’t apply to wolves.
—
### **WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU MISS IT?**
You’ll spend the rest of your life explaining to your grandkids that you *could’ve* been somebody — but you chose Netflix and leftovers instead. **PATHEETTTHETIC.**
—
### **FINAL WARNING: THIS IS A TEST.**
The White Lotus tea isn’t about “sipping.” It’s about **SURVIVAL.**
– **IF YOU GO:** You join the elite.
– **IF YOU DON’T:** You’re a background character in someone else’s story.
And when you’re there, *dress like you own the place.* Because if you do it right — **YOU WILL.**
*- Slay Lifestyle concierge OUT.* ☕️💥
**PS:** If you take a selfie with the tea set, tag me. If you don’t go? Don’t bother following me. **YOU’RE IRRELEVANT.**
Guide Budget: $74 per person
Location
Four seasons Koh samui Bangkok
219 Moo 5 Surat Thani Angthong, 84140, Thailand
CONTACTS
+66 77 243 000
WHITE LOTUS x FOUR SEASONS TEA? YOU’RE EITHER IN FIRST CLASS OR YOU’RE A PEASANT
The **White Lotus x Four Seasons Bangkok collab** isn’t ‘afternoon tea’ — it’s a **PSYCHOPATHIC FLEX** for the 0.001% who understand that **LUXURY IS WAR**
If you’re not booking a flight *right now*, you’re already dead in the game.
THE MENU IS CAVIAR COCAINE.** - Truffle-infused scones that cost more than your car. - Gold-leaf matcha poured by waiters who’ve *literally* signed NDAs. - A 'mystery dessert' that’s rumored to include **DIAMOND DUST
FINAL WARNING: THIS IS A TEST.** The White Lotus tea isn’t about “sipping.” It’s about **SURVIVAL.** - **IF YOU GO:** You join the elite. - **IF YOU DON’T:** You’re a background character in someone else’s story
