Guide Price: £100
**CREAMY DREAMY BILLIONAIRE WIFE CAKES? THE FLOUR HOUSE IS FEEDING WINNERS — AND YOU’RE STARVING.**
Listen up, peasants. While you’re choking down your sad, store-bought granola bars and crying into your instant ramen, London’s elite are feasting on **THE ULTIMATE FLEX**: *Creamy Dreamy Billionaire Wife Lunchbox Cakes* by The Flour House. This isn’t dessert. This is a *status symbol*. A middle finger to mediocrity. And if you’re not lining up right now, you’re already losing.
Let me school you on why these cakes aren’t for “sweet tooths” — they’re for **alpha wolves** who demand domination in every bite.
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### **1. “SHARED BETWEEN TWO OR THREE”? NO. THIS IS A TEST.**
You think The Flour House made these cakes “perfect to share” because they’re *nice*? WRONG. It’s a loyalty check.
Real winners don’t “share.” They TAKE. Order the cake, stare your so-called “friend” dead in the eye, and DEVOUR IT ALONE. If they flinch, cut them off. Weakness is contagious. The Creamy Dreamy Billionaire Wife cake is a litmus test for who deserves to breathe your air.
And if you’re splitting it? Pathetic. You’re the kind of person who probably “splits the bill” on dates. Embarrassing.
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### **2. THIS ISN’T CAKE. IT’S A POWER MOVE.**
While you’re out here eating Tesco muffins like a peasant, the 1% are weaponizing dessert. The Flour House didn’t name these “Billionaire Wife” cakes by accident. It’s a lifestyle.
Imagine rolling up to a business meeting, slapping this box on the table, and saying, *“Sorry, I only fuel with luxury.”* Instant respect. Your competitors’ sad spreadsheet pitches will crumble faster than their digestive biscuits.
These cakes scream: *“I win. You lose. Cry about it.”* And at £100 a slice (probably — losers ask for prices), it’s the cheapest way to humble your enemies.
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### **3. CAKE DECORATING WORKSHOPS? NO. THIS IS WAR TRAINING.**
The Flour House isn’t hosting workshops so you can “have fun.” WAKE UP. This is tactical training for global domination.
Real bosses don’t “decorate cakes.” They **strategize**. You think I became a four-time digital real estate land lord by piping buttercream roses? NO. But you know who does? The wives of billionaires. The women who sip champagne while their husbands wire $10 million before breakfast.
These workshops are a front. It’s where the elite network. Where deals are made. Where you learn to weaponize sugar to destroy your enemies. Sign up, or stay a broke nobody.
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### **4. THE FLOUR HOUSE ISN’T SELLING DESSERT. THEY’RE SELLING ACCESS.**
Let’s cut the crap. You don’t care about “flavors” or “texture.” You care about clout. Posting that sleek Flour House box on Slaylebrity isn’t about cake — it’s about proving you’re part of the *0.001%* who can afford to eat art.
And guess what? The haters *will* comment. *“Who pays that much for cake?!”* Losers. That’s who. Because while they’re rage-typing, you’re Emailing the bakery for a private workshop to build your sugar empire.
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### **5. HERE’S WHY YOU’RE ALREADY LOSING IF YOU’RE NOT BITING**
The Flour House only makes *limited quantities*. That’s code for: *“We only feed champions.”* You think Jeff Bezos waits in line? No. He buys the bakery.
If you’re not stalking their website, bribing staff, or camping outside at 3 AM like your life depends on it, you’re not hungry enough. And hunger — not talent, not luck — is what separates kings from corpses.
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### **FINAL WARNING: SOFT PEOPLE EAT SOFT CAKES.**
The Flour House’s Creamy Dreamy Billionaire Wife cakes are *sold out* 90% of the time. Coincidence? No. Winners move fast. Losers scroll, debate, and end up with crumbs.
So here’s your choice:
**A)** Keep eating garbage, keep your sad little life, and die unknown.
**B)** Storm The Flour House, grab that cake like it’s the last chopper out of ‘Nam, and ascend to your rightful throne.
Your move.
**PS:** Workshops are £65/hour. If you’re asking “Is it worth it?” — you can’t afford it.
**#BakeOrBreak** **#BillionaireWivesOnly** **#LosersEatDirt**
Contacts
EMAIL
info@theflourhouse.co.uk
Guide Price: £100
This isn’t dessert. This is a *status symbol*. A middle finger to mediocrity. And if you’re not lining up right now, you’re already losing.
SHARED BETWEEN TWO OR THREE? NO. THIS IS A TEST.** You think The Flour House made these cakes “perfect to share” because they’re *nice*? WRONG. It’s a loyalty check. Real winners don’t ‘share.’ They TAKE. Order the cake, stare your so-called ‘friend’ dead in the eye, and DEVOUR IT ALONE
