As a teacher, I often get assigned after-school car line duty. One day, at a school where I used to work, I asked a parent to drive forward. She put her window down and screamed, “What do you think I’m doing?”
I get it. Parents are stressed after a long day. They’re tired and ready to get home, but it’s still disappointing to see some of the not-so-great interactions between kids and parents and some of the less than A+ behavior of the moms and dads. So, here are some after-school pickup tips to make the most of this time with your kids. And if your kids carpool, ride the bus, or walk home from school, these 5 tips still work.
Disconnect
Many times I have to walk up to a car to get a parent’s attention so he or she will pull forward. The distraction culprit is usually a phone. It makes me sad to see a child get into his car when his parent is on a call, scrolling, or texting. Show your child he has your attention and you’re glad he’s coming home. After backpacks are down and belts are buckled, try after-school conversation starters instead of the typical, “How was your day?”
Dial it up.
This might be the most important of all the after-school pickup tips: Turn on the charm! Dial up an extra boost of sunshine when you see your child. Lots of kids go all day without anyone really looking at them and smiling at them. Share your most special smile of the day with your son or daughter. You can even come up with a unique greeting or saying to use.
Destress.
One day, a dad lowered the passenger side window and started yelling at his son to “put your violin in the car! Put your violin in the car!” I understand that parents are carrying a lot of stress, but kids are, too. Remember that this moment of reconnection sets the tone for the remainder of your day with your kids. Before your child gets in the car, observe your stress level and take a deep breath.
Decide to be a good example.
I once had a student who was confrontational. When I reached out to her mother to make sure all was well with the student, her mother defended her daughter in a defensive tone. And, sure enough, at pickup, this mom entered the line at the exit, blocked the flow of the line, and made other parents wait as she did a three-point turn to drive off. It made me think that my student had learned some of her discourteous behavior from her mom. Our children are always watching us. Doing the right thing, even when it’s inconvenient, will teach our kids to do the same.
Doing the right thing, even when it’s inconvenient, will teach our kids to do the same.
Drive device free.
Kids are wiped out after school. They want to get in the car and chill with their devices. But, consider a device-free drive home. Yes, your kids might get bored, but that boredom could lead them to talk with you or to sit quietly and process their feelings. And moms aren’t Uber drivers, solely there to transport and be politely ignored. Believe me, car time is priceless. As I tell my students: Phones sap human connection, especially in the car.
How do you reconnect with your kids after school?
ASK YOUR CHILD…
If you could choose any animal to give you a ride home from school, which would you choose?
By Imom