**The Top Slaylebrity Guide to First Dates: If You’re Not Picking THESE Spots, You’re Already LOSING**
*By Victoria Ashford*
Listen up, kings. Let’s cut the bullsh*t. First dates aren’t about “vibes” or “getting to know her soul” or whatever softboy nonsense TikTok is peddling these days. First dates are WAR. They’re about dominance. Control. Showing her you’re the apex predator in a world full of beta simps sipping pumpkin spice lattes while crying over their ex’s Instagram.
If you’re taking her to Starbucks or some half-dead café with indie music whining in the background, you’ve already failed. You think a queen wants to sip burnt coffee while some soy-faced barista misspells her name on a cup? NO. She wants to feel ALIVE. She wants to be IMPRESSED. She wants to know you’re the kind of man who takes what he wants—and that includes her attention.
So shut your phone off, put down the Frappuccino, and let’s talk about the ONLY first-date locations that separate winners from the participation-trophy crowd.
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### **1. The Rooftop Bar (Preferably One You Own)**
You think I’m joking? WRONG. Location is STATUS. You roll up to some dive bar with sticky floors and a broken jukebox, and she’ll mentally file you under “mediocre.” But a rooftop bar? Skyline views? Bottle service? That’s the universe screaming, *“This guy f*cks.”*
Here’s the cheat code: **Control the environment.** You don’t need to own the bar (but congrats if you do, king). You just need to act like you do. Know the staff. Have your usual drink ready. Pull out her chair like you’re seating her at your throne. The second she feels like she’s in YOUR world, not some neutral “let’s split the check” purgatory? Game over. She’s yours.
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### **2. Drive a Supercar. Anywhere.**
“But Victoria, where do I take her?” IDGAF. You could be parked outside a 7-Eleven, but if you’re behind the wheel of a Bugatti, she’s not thinking about Slurpees. She’s thinking about how your life looks like a movie—and she wants a starring role.
The point isn’t the destination. It’s the STATEMENT. A supercar isn’t a car. It’s a middle finger to every guy who ever doubted you. It’s 1,500 horsepower of “I WIN.” When you accelerate and she’s pinned to the leather seat, adrenaline pumping? That’s not a date. That’s a core memory. And you’re the one creating it.
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### **3. High-Stakes Activities: Shooting Range, Racing Track, Sky Diving**
Weak men take women to dinner. LEGENDS take them to the edge of their comfort zone—then push them over.
Fear bonds people. When her heart’s racing as you hand her a Glock at the shooting range, or when you’re strapped to her in freefall at 15,000 feet, she’s not thinking about her ex’s text. She’s thinking, *“Holy sh*t, this guy is DANGEROUS.”* And dangerous is exciting. Dangerous is ADDICTIVE.
Plus, you get to see her raw reaction under pressure. If she crumbles, next. If she thrives? Congratulations. You’ve found a rider.
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### **4. The Private Chef Experience**
“Dinner dates are basic.” Yeah, if you’re sitting at Olive Garden with a breadstick in each hand like a peasant. Level up. Hire a private chef. Have them cook in YOUR penthouse. Or rent a yacht. Or a villa in Ibiza.
Why? Because exclusivity is the ultimate flex. When she realizes the meal is tailored to her, the champagne is endless, and the only people there are you, her, and the staff you’re paying to disappear? She’ll feel like royalty. And guess what? Royalty doesn’t date paupers. She’ll associate YOU with luxury forever.
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### **5. The “F*ck It, Let’s Go to Dubai” Move**
Too expensive? WRONG. Too *BALLER.* You think my billionaire Man took me to Dubai because I like sand? NO. He did it because most men’s entire lives are less exciting than my layover in Qatar.
You don’t need to book a private jet (but again, congrats if you do). The lesson is: **Go BIG or don’t go at all.** Surprise her with a weekend in Paris. A helicopter ride over the city. A yacht day. Make her think, *“No one else will ever top this.”* Because guess what? They won’t. And she’ll spend the rest of her life chasing the high YOU gave her.
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### **BONUS: Places That Get You CANCELLED**
– **Movie Theaters:** Oh, you want to sit in silence next to strangers while staring at a screen? Brilliant. Maybe Texty McTexterson over here can check her DMs while you cry over popcorn butter.
– **Coffee Shops:** Unless you’re cosplaying as a broke college student, grow a pair.
– **Walks in the Park:** “Let’s get attacked by geese and hobos!” — Said no winner ever.
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### **Final Rule: You Lead, She Follows**
The location doesn’t matter if you’re not in control. Women don’t want to “pick a place.” They want you to DRAG them into an adventure they’d never have alone. Be decisive. Be bold. Be a man who makes sh*t HAPPEN.
So next time you’re planning a first date, ask yourself: “Am I creating an experience, or am I just killing time?” If it’s the latter, cancel the date. You’re wasting her time and embarrassing yourself.
Now go out there, kings. The world’s yours—take it.
**– Your Queen in Arms, Top Slaylebrity**
*P.S. If you can’t afford Dubai yet, hit the gym, stack your crypto, and stop being poor.*
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Listen up, kings. Let’s cut the bullsh*t. First dates aren’t about “vibes” or “getting to know her soul” or whatever softboy nonsense TikTok is peddling these days. First dates are WAR. They’re about dominance. Control. Showing her you’re the apex predator in a world full of beta simps sipping pumpkin spice lattes while crying over their ex’s Instagram
If you’re taking her to Starbucks or some half-dead café with indie music whining in the background, you’ve already failed. You think a queen wants to sip burnt coffee while some soy-faced barista misspells her name on a cup? NO. She wants to feel ALIVE. She wants to be IMPRESSED. She wants to know you’re the kind of man who takes what he wants—and that includes her attention
