Every once in a while, words hit extremely close to home. The following quote by George Bernard Shaw were such words. When I heard them, I was caught red handed and knew I needed to make a change.

want to tell you the quote and then take you through my thinking process — line by line. Then you can decide if you too want to make any changes to the way you think and live.

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them”. — George Bernard Shaw

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are

You’ve heard it. I’ve heard it. We’ve talked this way ourselves. “If it weren’t for my boss, I’d be so much farther ahead.” “The economy is terrible.” “My competition is killing me.” “I can’t focus because my knee is always stiffening up.” “If this accident hadn’t happened, I’d be so much farther ahead.” “My spouse / partner / kids / debt / hurts / scares / injury / upbringing / neighborhood holds me back.”

You get the picture. To be caught in the endless loop of blaming your circumstances for the condition of your life, state of mind, financial well being, emotional health, progress you’re making. It happens all the time.

I don’t believe in circumstances
What you believe in is what you move towards. If you believe in your circumstances, you fall victim to settling for the way things are, not for the way things could be. If you settle for the way things are and they are bad, you sink into a pit of despair and hopelessness. If you settle for the way things are and they are good, you grow complacent and proud. Believing in your circumstances puts a ceiling on your own growth and limits what’s possible.
Say to yourself, “I don’t believe in my circumstances. They do not describe the story I am telling myself.”
The people who get on in this world — get up and look for the circumstances they want
What’s your mindset first thing in the morning? Do you say, “Good Lord, it’s morning!” or do you say, “Good morning, Lord! The people who get on in this world look for the life they want instead of staring at the one they begrudgingly have.
I am in the middle of kick starting a re-branded coaching practice. Some days, if I only looked at my circumstances, I’d get back in bed and sleep for another hour. I’m choosing, however, to look for the circumstances I want and doing that gets me moving in the morning.
If they can’t find them, make them
Here’s the best news of all. Just because you don’t see the circumstances you want doesn’t mean they aren’t possible. To do that you have to imagine them and formulate a plan to create them. New and better circumstances don’t just happen but they are possible given you have the determination, talent, connections, hard work, and tenacity to create them.

“Thinking the same thoughts over and over, about the same issue, is not thinking. It’s being stuck.” — Henry Cloud

Stop blaming your circumstances and get unstuck by thinking and creating some new ones!

By Cam Taylor

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Whose fault is it anyway!

You left the stove on too long and now your meal is burned.  On your way out the door, your cat escaped outside, and now you will be late. While walking down the street, you slip on some fallen leaves. You worked hard all your life but still can't seem to succeed, yet your friends who go clubbing all the time seem to be living the life you've always dreamed of! Sigh.... When misfortunes like this occur to you, what’s your first thought? Do you immediately figure out who was at fault, other than you? Or you do resign yourself to accepting responsibility for such common mishaps that were under your control? Not everyone is equally likely to engage in the blame game, but there is little scientific research to advise us on who is most likely to do so. We can, however, define a dimension of blame-acceptance by adopting a few simple principles: On the extreme Blame side of our scale would be people who can always find something else to blame: You could attribute the burned meal to your partner, who doesn’t help enough around the house, forcing you to multitask and forget the chicken simmering in the pan. You do not blame your cat for its misbehavior, but you might blame your neighbor who waved hello at just the wrong time. Slipping on the sidewalk as a result of your clumsiness? Of course not; people should sweep the leaves up off the ground before they become a hazard. At the other end of the spectrum are people who blame themselves for everything, even when they’ve had nothing to do with an unfortunate outcome. This isn’t just false modesty or fishing for reassurance; some people do believe that they cause every bad thing all or most of the time. It’s also possible, of course, to blame fate or a higher power, especially when there’s no one else who could conceivably have caused the outcome. You certainly wouldn’t be able to blame your partner, or yourself, for the devastating effect of a tree crashing through your roof in a storm (although maybe you'd blame your partner for not getting the tree cut down). Religious people often attribute such events to a higher power who is either testing their faith or punishing them for their weaknesses. Related to the study of blame is the social psychology of attributions. Blaming yourself when something goes wrong might relate to a general tendency to make so-called internal attributions for failure in which you see yourself as inept, foolish, or irresponsible. That tendency might motivate you to attribute your successesto external factors, such as fate, chance or luck, as well.  And there’s always the fundamental attribution error: People excuse themselves for the same negative behavior that they blame others for doing. With this background in mind, here are 5 reasons we play the blame game Blame is an excellent defense mechanism. Whether you call it projection, denial, or displacement, blame helps you preserve your sense of self-esteem by avoiding awareness of your own flaws or failings.
  Blame is a tool we use when we’re in attack mode. Falling into the category of a destructive conflict resolution method,blame is a way to try to hurt our partners. We’re not very good at figuring out the causes of other people's behavior, or even our own. The attributions we make, whether to luck or ability, can be distorted by our tendency to make illogical judgments. And we're just as bad at making judgments involving the blameworthiness of actions in terms of intent vs. outcome.
  It’s easier to blame someone else than to accept responsibility. There’s less effort involved in recognizing your contributions to a bad situation than in accepting the fact that you're actually at fault, and changing so you don't do it again. People lie. As my colleague, Robert Feldman, discovered, “Everybody lies.” It’s pretty easy just to lie and blame someone else even though you know you’re at fault. You may figure that no one will know it was really you who spilled coffee all over the break room, so you just blame someone else who’s not there (and hope that person never finds out). Unlike other games, the more often you play the blame game, the more you lose. Learning to tell when you need to own up to your role in a bad situation will help you grow from your experiences, and ultimately help you achieve more fulfilling relationships. The only person responsible for your circumstance is YOU! You can choose to be negative about your situation or to always see the positive in every situation which ultimately leads to success. The choice is yours. Sharing is caring, Share this with someone who needs this lesson

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