The biggest lie we are told by people around us is that they are happy to see us succeed. Think I am joking? You ever accomplish something you were proud of, such as getting a better job, finding your perfect spouse, or moving into your dream home, only to notice that your peers aren’t quite happy for you? It happens to everyone. Well, it happens to everyone who strives for over-achievement.
Now the easy response by critics of success is that they think over-achievers flaunt their success simply because they passed their peers on the career path. As you move up the food chain you inevitably end up taking on a more prominent role in your industry, get more attention, get asked to sit on boards of directors, earn media coverage, etc. But that is part of the role moving up the corporate ladder. That said, it doesn’t stop people from thinking you are bragging. But no one can control what people think and I for one do not care to try any longer. You should never have to make excuses or apologize for your success! But pls keep it to yourself. The only thing your blabbering will do is create unnecessary jealousy, jealousy breeds negative energy, too much negative energy will eventually bring down your success.
But what about goals should you tell people about them?
No don’t do that either. Telling people your goals is a fatal mistake.
Sharing your next big idea is practically orgasmic.
Your eyes sparkle. Your heart flutters. All manner of happy chemicals flood your brain.
Such conversations can light your fire, inspiring you with new nuances for your vision. Even just a smattering of approval from whoever you’re talking to will feel like liquid gold, bathing your ears (and ego) in effervescent sparkles.
Then what happens? To continue the organism metaphor longer than is probably sensible….
You peak. Then, you sit back practically panting. You light a cigarette. You bask in the afterglow and consider a nap. You want to “rest your eyes” for a few minutes.
You might do a lot of things after an idea orgasm. Execution is not one of them.
When you share you big vision conversationally, something interesting is happening in your mind. You’re making vivid mental images of a bright, shiny future. In the theatre of your mind, you can see, hear and even feel success as your idea comes to fruition.
That’s the cause of the massive endorphin rush. The unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between imagined mental imagery versus real, external reality. It thinks the topic of your conversation is real and rewards your brain chemistry accordingly.
Want evidence that your unconscious thinks internal reality is as real as external? Try this quick mental exercise:
Think of a fresh lemon. Conjure up an image of it in your mind. Notice the shiny, dimpled skin and imagine a sharp knife slicing deftly through the center of it. See the micro spray of tangy droplets from the knife’s pressure. Smell the scent of the peel, releasing its aromatic oil into the air.
Are you salivating yet?
Your unconscious mind doesn’t know that the lemon isn’t real. It’s literally preparing your mouth for an acidic assault by coating your tongue in saliva. You saliva glands (like endorphins and most body functions) are entirely regulated by your unconscious mind.
When you tell someone about your next big idea, the mental process of visualizing future success convinces your unconscious mind that it’s already happened. It doesn’t fill your body with pre-victory anxiety… It fills it with post-win celebration!
Telling someone about your big idea is almost as emotional rewarding as achieving it!
The worst part? It can become an addiction.
When the emotional high of sharing your plan inevitably fades, you start seeking that positive feeling again. Which is easier? Actually executing… Or just finding someone new to talk to?
South by South West exposed me to huge numbers of eager entrepreneurs, busy hustling, talking about their huge plans. My body language observation revealed idea orgasm occurring all around me, pretty much 24/7.
The people who have a track record of executing huge things and turning hustle into results acted a little differently. People I met like Dave Navaro, Johnny Truant, Jonathan Fields and Brian Clark all did something different.
They play their cards close. They were cryptic. None of the pros were really talking business and none of them wanted to.
Maybe they were just sick of having the same conversations over and over. Or maybe, they intuitively know that sharing their plans only creates mental faux-victories. Instead of real achievement.
We’re all guilty of this idea-sharing mistake. I did it when I published my plans for my revolutionary quest – although, I haven’t shared any actual details on what’s happening in that space. I’ll wait until I have something superb to actually show you.
I’ve got a radical suggestion. It’s going to be damn tough for you, if you’re stuck in an addictive cycle of indiscriminate idea sharing. It’ll be hard, but think you should try to follow this advice anyway. I guarantee a thirty day trial of this will transform your life.
Are you ready for this? Here goes…
Simply say: “Oh, just you wait…”
Don’t tell us what you’re planning on doing. Don’t share one detail! Not even for the sake of accountability. Instead, say absolutely nothing. If you must speak, just let us know that we should wait and see.
Here’s what’ll happen…
You will buy yourself a very, very brief window of opportunity. Intelligent people will keep an eye on you for a few short weeks or months. They’ll wait and see.
If you get your shit together and actually execute something impressive, you’ll be welcomed into the inner circle of people who walk instead of talk. You’ll come “out of nowhere” and blow people away. Folks will say things like “I knew you were cooking up something!”
(In reality, they didn’t know shit… But they’re happy for you all the same.)
If you fail to ship anything, people will simply forget about you. That might sound bad, but the alternative (which most people are stuck doing) is much worse.
When you blather about your grand designs to everyone you meet, you might be able to create some excitement. Good ideas are still respected! However, if you don’t execute right away, people will remember. Folks will think “what ever happened to that guy with the idea for the supersonic bread slicer?”
They’ll remember your wide-eyed idea sharing. They’ll nod and smile. People who’ve read this post will know exactly what kind of person you are. People who haven’t? They’ll still know but maybe they won’t put words around it.
Telling everyone your goals puts healthy pressure on you to achieve them, yes. NOT telling people what you’re planning creates even more healthy pressure. Plus, when you go out and execute you get to look like you came out of nowhere and exploded onto the market.
This may be the best and most ruthless business advice I’ve ever written:
Shut the **** up and go DO something. Make it something worth other people talking about.
If you want to develop a superhuman ability to get big things done… come check out our free video training series at Commit Action. This series contains all our best training and research which you can download and implement in your life to gain an immediate advantage on ALL your goals… regardless of whether or not you’ve shared them.
Leaving a comment on this post should be easy 😉
Source Peter Shallard
Sharing your success is practically orgasmic. But big time successful people know this is a cardinal fatal mistake
