Concierge Price: $35000
## **YOUR FUNKO POPS ARE PATHETIC PEASANT TRASH. MEET THE $35K LABUBU GODS THAT LAUGH AT YOUR POVERTY. 🚫🧸**
LISTEN UP BROKE BOYS.
You’re sitting there clutching your mass-produced plastic junk – your “limited editions” from Target, your “grails” worth less than a night’s bottle service.
**EMBARRASSING.**
You think you’re a collector?
**You’re a HOBBYIST.** A scavenger. A bottom-feeder in the kiddie pool of collectibles.
**LET ME SHOW YOU REAL POWER.
REAL ART.
REAL *FUCK YOU* MONEY MANIFESTED IN RESIN:**
**THE ELITE LABUBU DOLLS.
$35,000 FOR TWO.
DRESSED IN DESIGNER YOU CAN’T even AFFORD TO *LOOK* AT.**
**THIS ISN’T A TOY.
IT’S A TROPHY FOR CONQUERORS.**
**WHY YOUR COLLECTION IS A JOKE COMPARED TO THIS:**
1. **YOUR “GRAILS” ARE MADE IN CHINESE SWEATSHOPS.**
**THESE LABUBUS?** Hand-sculpted by reclusive artisans in Tokyo studios cleaner than your entire existence. Each one blessed, numbered, and imbued with the silent contempt of true luxury. Your Funko Pop smells like factory chemicals. **This smells like victory.**
2. **YOUR DOLLS WEAR COTTON POLYESTER BLENDS FROM WALMART.**
**THESE LABUBUS?** DRAPED IN **MICRO-SCALED CUSTOM HAUTE COUTURE.**
That tiny jacket? **Hand-stitched by a former Savile Row master using wool from sheep fed on fucking gold leaf.**
The microscopic handbag? **18k gold hardware, real leather softer than your grandmother’s last sigh.**
The shoes? **Bespoke. One-of-one. Worth more than your car.**
**Your dolls dress like homeless clowns. These dress like they OWN YOU.**
3. **YOU “FLEX” WITH $100 MARKUPS ON EBAY.**
**OWNING THESE LABUBUS IS A $35,000 *MINIMUM* ENTRY FEE INTO THE REAL COLLECTOR’S CIRCLE.** And you still can’t buy it without a slay club world membership priced at $30000 a year, yeah cry bout it!
This price tag isn’t *expensive* – **IT’S A FILTER.**
It keeps the peasants (YOU) and the pretenders (ALSO YOU) far away from the pure oxygen of elite ownership.
**You haggle. We *dominate*.**
4. **YOUR SHELF IS DUSTY IKEA GARBAGE.**
**THESE LABUBUS RESIDE IN BULLETPROF, CLIMATE-CONTROLLED MUSEUM DISPLAYS.**
Guarded.
Insured for more than your life.
Lit with lasers calibrated by Swiss engineers.
**Your collection screams “virginity.” Ours screams “UNTOUCHABLE LEGACY.”**
**”BUT SLAY BAMBINI CONCIERGE, IT’S JUST PLASTIC!”**
**SAID THE COWARD WITH A NET WORTH SMALLER THAN MY WATCH.**
This isn’t *plastic*.
**IT’S A PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF YOUR FAILURE TO REACH OUR LEVEL.**
* **You** collect for “fun.”
**We** collect to ANNIHILATE the concept of scarcity.
* **You** post hauls for Reddit karma.
**We** acquire these to SECURE generational trophies that appreciate faster than your pathetic index funds.
* **You** worry about “resale value.”
**We** set the fucking market.
**THINK $35,000 IS CRAZY?
GOOD.**
**YOU’RE NOT THE TARGET.**
**THE TARGET IS THE ELITE WHO:**
* See this as **POCKET CHANGE** for owning a slice of art history.
* Understand **TRUE VALUE** exists beyond the comprehension of the broke masses.
* Use these Labubus as **PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE** against lesser “collectors.” (You.)
**THIS ISN’T A PURCHASE.
IT’S A STATEMENT OF DOMINION:**
> ***”I possess objects so rare, so exquisitely crafted, so utterly BOUNDLESS in their exclusivity… that your entire life savings wouldn’t cover the TAX.”***
**YOUR MOVE, PEASANT:**
Keep scrolling Marketplace for damaged Nendoroids.
Keep lying to yourself that your Pop! wall is “impressive.”
**WE’LL BE OVER HERE –**
**Redefining the very fabric of possession.**
**Laughing at your plastic poverty.**
**Setting fires to the concept of “affordable” with every Labubu acquired.**
**👉 DARE TO ASK ABOUT AVAILABILITY?** [Link to level up to slay club world concierge for the Actually Wealthy]
*(Disclaimer: If you need to ask “Can I pay monthly?”, CLICK AWAY. You embarrass yourself.)*
**#LabubuElite #BallerOrBroke #35kOrBust #DesignerDolls #UntouchableWealth #StatusSymbols #FlexOrFail #ArtInvestment #SlayBambiniCollectibles #LuxuryOrLoser #NoPovertyAllowed #ResinRoyalty #HauteCoutureToys #DestroyThePeasants #FinancialDominance**
**P.S.** Still think Beanie Babies were an “investment”? **PATHETIC.** Real men collect icons that make Sotheby’s tremble. **UPGRADE YOUR MINDSET OR PERISH IN MEDIOCRITY.** 🔥
Delivery 6-8 weeks
Concierge Price: $35,000
Includes complimentary worldwide shipping
Slay Concierge Purchase note
This listing information is reserved exclusively for GOLD PLUS VIP MEMBERS. CLICK HERE TO BECOME A MEMBER
YOUR FUNKO POPS ARE PATHETIC PEASANT TRASH. MEET THE $35K LABUBU GODS THAT LAUGH AT YOUR POVERTY.
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