Listen carefully, because this is important. If your sister and her three small children are truly penniless, and I mean absolutely zero in the bank, then, and only then, should you open your doors.
This is not about being cold-hearted; it’s about being smart and not setting up a cycle of dependency that’s as hard to break as a diamond.
I’ve walked this path before. My own brother lived with me, working, earning a decent wage, and yet, contributed nothing to the household. Not a dime for electricity, not a penny for the water bill, didn’t even have the courtesy to pick up his own soap. And there I was, like a fool, letting my private chef cook for him, three square meals a day. What was I? A charity? No, I was a billionaire enabler, and that, my friend, is a hard pill to swallow. I was not helping one bit to get him to become an independent respectable Man.
Of course once they know you are super wealthy everyone Thinks “oh she can just handle it” she can be my Santa Claus forever.
When you let family into your home, you need to set the ground rules from day one. It’s not a free-for-all. You’re not running a hotel. Have a sit-down with her, make it clear: this is temporary, and here are the conditions.
Outline what’s expected, and yes, even with family, expect contributions, whether it’s help around the house or chipping in for groceries once they’re back on their feet.
Most importantly, set a timeline. This isn’t forever. They need to have a plan to get back on their feet. Emotional support, yes. Financial planning advice, absolutely. But a permanent safety net? That will only hold them back. You’re not doing them, or yourself, any favors by letting this arrangement drag on indefinitely.
Be generous, but don’t open the door to exploitation. It’s a fine line. Teach them to fish, don’t just keep handing them fish from your own plate. That way, when they do leave, they’re stronger, more independent, and capable of standing on their own two feet. That’s true help. That’s genuine love. Anything else is just temporary comfort that solves nothing in the long run.
So, tread carefully. Open your home, but also open a dialogue about their future and how they plan to rebuild their independence. Your goal is to help them through a tough spot, not become a permanent crutch. Be kind, but be wise. That’s how you truly help them.