I love my life indeed….When you hook up with me you won’t forget it ever!

This is it. I’ve been flirting with this TJ’s cashier for as long as I can remember. I mean, it’s stupid. If there is a long line at his register, I will stand in it. He will notice me there, waiting in his long line instead of going to the open register next to him. And he knows…

He knows I want him. His name, according to his name tag, is Gerry.

“Is that you, Christine?” he says when I finally make it to the register. “I thought I saw my favorite customer!”

“Am I your favorite customer, Gerry?” I say, biting my lip.

“Definitely,” says Gerry. And then, perhaps remembering his corporate training, he backpedals to avoid the appearance of sexual harassment. “Definitely one of my favorites.”

“I want to be your very favorite,” I say to him, staring him right in the eyes. “I want to be your number one.”

He laughs.

“You’re so funny, Christine,” he says.

Maybe I’m making him nervous. I don’t know. I can’t help it. I want him so badly.

It’s not just the Hawaiian shirts of the TJ’s employees. But I do think that’s a big part of it. It just says, “Good times. Relaxed. Fun. Awesome.”

Then I say it out loud.

“Good times, relaxed, fun, awesome.”

Gerry furrows his eyebrows.

“What’s that?”

I realize the mic was on and my thoughts were being broadcast through my mouth.

“The uniforms,” I say, recovering. “They make me happy.”

He laughs.

“Christine,” he laughs. “You’re hilarious.”

Gerry is movie-star handsome. He’s told me that he still goes up for auditions when his TJ’s schedule allows, but he’s pretty much given up the acting dream. He had a supporting part in the movie Guardians of the Galaxy, but the special effects they put on his face made him unrecognizable. I know. I’ve watched it. Ten times. While masturbating to his scenes on Planet Morag. I do my own special effects while I masturbate. I put the TJ’s Hawaiian shirt on him, and I throw him down on the planet floor and have my way with him.

Since giving up his dream, Gerry’s begun to go with a scraggly five-day beard look, which I like better than his failed movie star look. Now he looks like a successful TJ’s guy. And I want in on that.

It’s the camaraderie that the TJ’s employees all have. I’ve really never seen anybody enjoy their work as much as the TJ’s family. That’s what it seems like to me, a giant extended family of Hawaiian people, but more diverse.

I think because I was sort of ostracized from my family, I tend to gravitate toward these pseudo-family clans. If I have sex with Gerry, I think it will be like marrying into the TJ’s bunch. And then when I come into the store, all the guys and gals will be like my cousins. And the head manager, up there on that kind of throne-like thing where Dave sits, will be the Big Daddy, the chief of our little tribe. I won’t be in the tribe outfit, exactly, but hey, I can buy myself a Hawaiian shirt.

After Gerry fucks me, I hope he tells some of the other TJ’s guys. Then when they look at me, they will have that knowing look in their eye. The “You fucked Gerry” look. I crave that. I want to be admired that way.

The other guys might want to fuck me after they hear about Gerry. But no way. I’m not going to be no TJ’s ho. I’m a one cashier gal. And my cashier is Gerry.

Not Phil, who’s over there right now restocking the frozen foods.

Not even Gloria, who’s pretty smoking hot, and is usually doing something with vegetables. I’d like to do something with a vegetable to Gloria. It would be glorious. But no, I’m not going to.

I’m just going to do Gerry.

And it will be pretty glorious, too, I imagine. If I could just get past this awkward banter stage with him and get his goddamned phone number.

“God damn it,” I say out loud.

“Something wrong?” says Gerry, as he scans, with a scolding look. It’s the fifth bag of Pirate Bootie. You know, that cheese popcorn?

“Nothing a little Pirate Bootie can’t fix,” I say.

“You must be having a party,” he says, scanning the sixth bag, with a deepening look of concern.

“Oh no,” I say. “I’m going to eat it all myself.”

Gerry looks scared. I’m an edgy girl. He knows that about me. I think I might be too much for him.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about your weight,” he says. “You’re in great shape.”

“You think so, Gerry?” I ask, pointedly.

He nods. Then gulps. I think he feels it coming. Here it comes.

“You want some of this?”

It came.

I can’t believe I finally stepped over the line. I mean, I have been going right up to this line for so long. But there. I did it. I stepped right over it.

Gerry gulped again. I think that meant yes.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I say. “Here let me give you my card.”

I hand him my card with my number on it.

“I know you’re not allowed to fraternize with the customers, Gerry,” I say, because he is looking around nervously. “But don’t forget, last time I checked this was still a free fucking country. Go ahead, take the card.”

His hand is inches from it. But he’s hesitating.

I don’t blame him.

He doesn’t want to get in trouble. And there are other customers waiting. I can see them out of the corner of my eye. There are like three carts in line behind me.

Gerry has a decision to make. If he takes that card… he is going to be flown to Planet Christine. He knows that. He knows it’s a helluva ride. He knows it’s going to be intense. Is he really up for that ride?

Maybe he just wants a peaceful life, now that he’s given up on his acting dream and he’s joined the TJ’s family. Maybe he’s dating that hottie, Gloria, from produce. I don’t know. There are so many reasons for him not to take that card.

But I really, really, want him to take that card. I really want him to call me. I want to go for a drink with him. And then after the first drink, I want to start kissing him and telling him how long I’ve been hot for him. Then I want to go back to his apartment. I imagine he has a roommate. How cute. I meet the roommate. Maybe it’s someone from TJ’s I already know. Maybe it’s a new person. Dan. Or Steve or Sean. Then we go into his bedroom.

And we start making out on the edge of his bed. I can see in his half-open closet the row of different colored TJ’s Hawaiian shirts.

I pull off his jeans and his briefs and I am about to suck his cock.

“I’ve been fantasizing about doing this for so long,” I say.

I put it in my mouth and I start sucking the TJ’s guy’s dick. And in the back of my mind, I wonder, if this ends badly, which in some ways it is bound to, if I’m going to have to drive like another five minutes to the other Trader Joe’s on Santa Monica? Oh well, that’s a risk I am willing to take.

“Life is a risk,” I say out loud, to Gerry. “There are no guarantees in this life. But you’ve got to be in it to win it, you know what I mean, Gerry?”

That seems to calm him down. He takes the card and puts it in the pocket of that Hawaiian shirt, god bless him.

“That’s my boy,” I say. “Call me.”

I take my bags and put them in my cart.

“Have a nice day, Gerry,” I say, and I kind of smile/wink at him. At least I think that’s what I do. Maybe to him, it looks like my face is twitching because I’ve got something in my eye.

“You too, Christine,” he says.

On my way out, I wonder if he’ll call. I mean, he has to call, really. Otherwise, it will be awkward between us the next time I come in. He knows he’s got about three days. I’ll be out of Pirate Bootie in about three days. I’ll have to come back to the store.

He has to call.

Doesn’t he?

“I can’t believe you texted me,” I text him back later that night. “Come over.”

Then I texted again:

“Wear your Trader Joe’s shirt.”

“K,” was all he responded.

I took a long time unbuttoning the Trader Joe’s shirt, about an hour later, after we’d had some wine and we were making out.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been fantasizing about doing this,” I said.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been fantasizing about you doing it,” he laughed.


I stopped and looked at him.

“This is like a fantasy come true for both of us?”

“Oh God yeah,” he said. “I’ve been hot for you for like six months.”

“Wow,” I said. “I’m so stoked!”

Then I unzipped him and pulled his Levis off. And his boxers. He was stiff as a board.

“Oh you beautiful Trader Joe’s cashier!” I said, and I put my mouth down on his ample cock. He moaned a lot and called me a couple names, which I like. It makes sense when you’re sucking a cock to be called a name. It just does. I mean, who in their right mind would do such a thing — suck a cock?

“You dirty slut,” he said. “Suck it.”

“I am sucking it,” I said, momentarily not sucking it.

“Well suck it some more, dirty slut,” he said.

“Sure thing, you smooth talker you!” I said, and I went down on him with even more enthusiasm.

After I’d had enough of being his dirty dick-sucking slut, I decided it was time.

“Now I’m going to fuck the shit out of you, Trader Joe’s boy,” I announced.

I stood up and dropped my skirt; I was not wearing panties.

“No panties, nice,” he said.

“Thank you. You like what you see?”

“Jesus fucking Christ yes,” he said.

I got on top of him and put his dick in me and I started fucking him. It didn’t take long. I’d been wanting this for so long, and it was turning out to be even better than I’d dreamed it would be. I had a pretty quick orgasm.

“I’’m coming, baby,” I said.

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Go ahead baby, cum your head off.”

“Oh, I’m cumming hard,” I said.

I ground my pelvis down onto his Trader Joe’s cock and just came so hard.

“OK,” I said. “Now you probably want me on all fours on the floor so you can see this sweet ass as you fuck me.”

“You read my mind, baby,” he said.

So I got on all fours. He said some nice things about my ass as he started fucking me doggy style. Getting fucked doggy style rarely makes me cum, but I like it anyway. I guess because the guys really give me a lot of compliments when they do it. I love compliments when I’m getting fucked.

“Your pussy is the tightest little thing in the fucking world,” he said, almost complaining. “I can only get about half in for cripes sake.”

“That’s because your dick is so big, TJ’s boy,” I said. “Just keep pressing. You’ll get it in there. Rip it open babe. Rip it!”

So finally he’s balls deep in me and I feel it in my stomach, the little coil. My orgasms always start with the little coil, like a little snake’s tail in my stomach. That coil starts kind of unwinding and rising up, and I get this feeling like, “Oh no, it’s going to rise right up and come right out of my body!”

Has anybody ever experienced that, like a fear that an orgasm was going to come right up out of their body and explode into the room and maybe damage the building somehow, like break some windows? You know, what is that, shock waves or something?

That’s what it felt like when this second orgasm surprised me, because like I say it usually doesn’t happen in that position. It felt like shock waves were rising up in me and I started screaming. That got him all excited.

“Oh yeah, oh yeah, baby, I’m gonna cum too,” he said. “I’m gonna cum all over that sweet little ass of yours.”

So after I was finished cumming, I felt him pull out and then I felt a huge amount of splooge splash all over my butt and thighs and back.

“Yeah, keep shooting it, baby,” I said. “Don’t stop, you’re a fireman. You gotta put out this fire. Put it all out.”

Splooge, splooge, splooge, he went all over me, about five spasms. Incredible.

“I love it!” I said. And just to be theatrical, I scooped some cum off my ass and I put it in my mouth.

“Mmm!” I said. “Delicious. Better than Pirate Bootie!”

So afterwards I bet he told all his co-workers that I said that. I hoped he did anyhow. Because like a week later I put on a tight t-shirt with no bra. A really short skirt. I put super hot red lipstick on my lips and a bunch of purple on my eyes so I looked like a porn star. And I went into the Trader Joe’s.

I saw it in the eyes of the other TJ’s staff. It was awe and admiration. Like I’d hoped.

I saw the hot girl Gloria from the veggie department even bite her lip as I went up to her and asked her, “I’m looking for the shredded cabbage?”

“Yeah, sorry we’re out,” she said. Then she added, “You’re Gerry’s friend, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, relishing this beautiful moment. “I’m Gerry’s friend.”

“Gerry’s great,” she said.

“Yeah, Gerry’s REALLY great,” I said. She got my meaning. She even laughed out loud. I thought that was a bit, I don’t know, something. It was involuntary though. She couldn’t help herself. She snort laughed, you know?

“We’ll be getting a delivery at three,” she said, when she stopped snort laughing. “We should have shredded cabbage then if you check back.”

“Awesome, thank you,” I said.

I walked proudly with my stuff over to a cashier. Not Gerry. A different one. He asked me to do that. So I go to Phil, who is pretty hot, but not as hot as Gerry. I could see Gerry though, checking out a middle-aged lady. She was looking at him with her tongue practically on the floor — she wanted him too. Tough. He’s mine, bitch. Back off.

At one point he winked at me. I smiled back.

As I was putting the groceries in the car, I got the text.

“Over at 8pm tonight?”

“Yeah babe,” I texted back, and I added a hot emoji.

He hot emoji’d me back.

I love my life! I’m hooking up with a hot TJ’s cashier and I love my fucking life!


Don’t worry your escapades are safe with us.









When you hook up with me you won’t forget it ever!

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