There are high performers who seemingly grace through life achieving a varied assortment of feats. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are people who seemingly can’t achieve the very things that they desire.
They’re always falling short of their goals. At a specific point in time, I thought I was part of this unlucky crowd who never got what they wanted.
However, as I realized, I didn’t have business problems, I had life problems that were manifesting itself through different forms in my everyday life. I had to learn how to get out of my own way so I could have everything I wanted.
When we want something, our first inclination is to search externally for a solution. But this is backward.
Sitting on the couch waiting for a million dollars to fall in your lap? That probably won’t work. Want to make your dream a reality? Yes, absolutely. But, how — that’s the question.
You aren’t born with all the answers to achieving what you want in life. Most people don’t even know what they want. So how do you “manifest” or attract good luck and circumstances? The closest parking place. That big contract. The perfect partner or relationship. Successful people have a system to notice and use circumstances and leverage to quickly achieve goals.
Here are the six steps:
1. Make a decision to have what you want, even if you don’t know how to get it
This is deceptively simple. Most are tentative when it comes to being specific. Don’t say things like, “It would be nice if…” and “We’ll see what happens when…”. Be comfortable with the fact that you don’t yet know HOW, but you do know WHAT you want.
Here are a couple of practice sentences to get you started.
I want to live a life of personal and financial freedom before my 45th birthday.
I want a week long Italian vacation.
I want the perfect partner in my business or personal life.
“I’m having chicken for lunch today,” is a very decisive statement. “I am going on vacation to Los Angeles for a week in June,” is also decisive. Once you have mastered this decisive language, you are ready to move on.
2. Be clear about the outcome
Be clear about the details of the outcome. Consider what you DO want, not what you don’t want. Practice visualizing yourself in the situation you want to create. How do you do this? Start small.
Here’s an example:
When you order a salad in a restaurant, you choose the type of lettuce, vegetables, cheese and dressing. You imagine how the salad will look, taste and smell when it arrives at your table. You are clear about what you want. After all, when you’re thinking about the salad, you don’t have a mental picture of a chicken sandwich in your mind. It works the same with bigger items, like financial freedom, finding the perfect partner or a happy life. You must imagine the look, feel and sound of the perfect situation for you in your life.
3. Detach from the process
Not knowing “how” to do something holds many people back. The “how to do it,” instructions will appear after you have clearly defined what you want.
Remember ordering the salad. After you order, you don’t have to worry about how the salad will take shape. Every restaurant prepares salad differently, but the outcome is the same — it arrives at your table ready to eat.
4. Expect that it will happen
Set an expectation that what you want will, in fact, appear. It may not appear in the way you thought or at the precise time. In fact, it may not appear at all! Possibilities you thought were a sure thing may disappear. You may even experience frustration, anxiety or impatience trying to control the outcome.
But if you believe “Everything happens for a reason,” this process will be easy. What if the salad didn’t appear? Don’t force it. Maybe the lettuce was bad and you could have gotten sick.
5. Be open to possibility when things don’t go your way
The path to the outcome may (and probably will) show up in ways you never imagined before. It is your job to explore possibility. Suspend judgment of how things should be done based on your past experiences and consider that the very thing you think is a deterrent may be the very thing you need to get what you want.
Many times, people, circumstances and resources will show up, but you’ll miss the connection. Remember the lettuce example? Maybe you were on your way to an important meeting and that lack of salad saved you from giving a less than stellar performance. This is where not knowing how, while keeping your eye on the goal, is important.
6. Practice gratitude
Be thankful for the things you have in your life right now. Do you look at your challenges as opportunities to grow or burdens that need to be eliminated? When you practice being thankful for specific events in your life, including the burdens, even when you don’t understand why they appear in your life, your ability to manifest accelerates almost to the speed of thought.
Getting what you want is not always easy. Challenges occur. Emotions, other people’s negative views and comments set you back. But in the end, it all comes back down to your choice. Choose to get what you want, believe in your abilities, trust the process, and it will happen for you swiftly and easily.