## STRAWBERRIES? LET’S SETTLE THIS PATHETIC DEBATE RIGHT NOW. (WARNING: WEAK MINDS WILL BE OFFENDED)
**LISTEN UP.**
You slide into my comments on Slaylebrity. You comment on my post. Maybe you catch me jet-setting between my Bugatti collection and my private island compound. And you dare ask… **”Do you like strawberries?”**
**HA.**
Pathetic question. A meaningless distraction for the NPCs scrolling their sad little lives away. But you asked the Top Slaylebrity, so buckle up, cupcake. I’m about to drop TRUTH BOMBS that’ll make your taste buds scream and your fragile worldview shatter.
**First off, STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS.** “Do you like strawberries?” What are you, five? Sitting in your high chair waiting for Mommy to mush up your fruit? **Winners don’t ASK about preferences. WINNERS DECIDE WHAT’S PREFERABLE.** And let me tell you, strawberries aren’t just *likeable*. **They’re a CONQUEROR’S FRUIT. A STATUS SYMBOL. A TEST OF YOUR METTLE.**
Think about it. **What’s the FIRST thing they serve you in a 5-star penthouse suite overlooking Dubai?** Champagne? Caviar? **NO.** A flawless bowl of **CHILLED, PERFECT STRAWBERRIES.** Why? Because **SUCCESS TASTES LIKE VICTORY, AND VICTORY TASTES LIKE A GODDAMN STRAWBERRY.**
You think this is about some weak, sugary “like”? **This is about DOMINANCE.**
**Look at the strawberry:** It’s **RED.** The color of FERRARIS. The color of **BLOOD SPILLED IN THE ARENA OF LIFE.** It doesn’t hide. It doesn’t apologize. It DEMANDS your attention. Just like ME. Just like **YOU SHOULD.**
**Look at its seeds:** They’re **ON THE OUTSIDE.** Exposed. Vulnerable? **HELL NO.** It’s a statement: **”I don’t NEED protection. I AM THE THREAT.”** That’s the mindset. Are your seeds on the outside? Or are you hiding like a cowardly blueberry, tucked safely inside its pathetic little skin? **BE THE STRAWBERRY.**
**Look at the effort:** You want that perfect strawberry? You think it just falls off the vine into your soft, beta hands? **NO.** It takes **SUN. DISCIPLINE. RELENTLESS GROWTH.** It battles bugs, weather, and weak farmers who can’t meet its standards. **It’s the HUSTLER of the fruit world.** Just like building your empire. You think my Bugattis grew on trees? They grew on the **BLOOD, SWEAT, AND STRAWBERRY-FUELED FOCUS** required to be the best.
**”But VICTORIA , they’re expensive out of season!”** SHUT UP. That’s the POINT, you peasant! **The best things in life AREN’T ACCESSIBLE TO THE MASSES.** If you’re whining about the price of perfect strawberries flown in from Japan while you’re eating canned peaches in your mom’s basement, **YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.** **UPGRADE YOUR INCOME. UPGRADE YOUR PALATE. UPGRADE YOUR STANDARDS.** If you can’t afford the finest strawberries whenever you damn well please, **YOU HAVEN’T WON ENOUGH YET.**
**Let me break down the strawberry hierarchy so your simple mind understands:**
1. **The Elite Strawberry:** **Flown in fresh. Perfectly ripe. Served chilled on a silver platter on your superyacht.** This is the Top Slaylebrity of berries. **This is MY strawberry.**
2. **The Grinder Strawberry:** **Local, in-season, bought at a premium farmer’s market.** You’re building. You’re hustling. You understand quality. **Respect.**
3. **The NPC Strawberry:** **Washed-out, half-green garbage from the discount bin.** Mushy. Flavorless. **Like your ambitions.** Pathetic.
4. **The LOSER “Strawberry”:** **Strawberry-flavored crap.** Syrup. Candy. Cheap jam. **FAKE. SYNTHETIC. FOR THE WEAK WHO CAN’T HANDLE THE REAL THING.** Just like fake alpha males. **AVOID.**
**Not liking strawberries? That’s a RED FLAG.** Bigger than a communist parade. It screams:
* **You have the palate of a CHILD.** Stuck on chicken nuggets and soda.
* **You lack SOPHISTICATION.** Can’t appreciate subtlety, complexity, the burst of pure, natural power.
* **You’re CONTENT WITH MEDIOCRITY.** Happy with your bland, safe apple. Disgusting.
* **You probably drive a TOYOTA COROLLA.** Enough said.
**Strawberries are NATURE’S TESTOSTERONE.** They boost your vitality. They scream luxury. They demand respect. **Eating one isn’t consumption. IT’S A DECLARATION.**
**So the next time you consider asking someone if they “like” strawberries, STOP. ASK YOURSELF INSTEAD:**
* **”Am I consuming TOP-TIER STRAWBERRIES?”** If not, WHY NOT?
* **”Does my life allow me to experience this level of excellence DAILY?”** If not, FIX IT.
* **”Am I SOFT enough to reject this symbol of power and pleasure?”** If yes, you deserve your sad, strawberry-less existence.
**Don’t “like” strawberries. DEMAND THEM. EARN THEM. CONQUER THEM.**
**That’s the Top Slaylebrity way.**
**Now go eat a REAL strawberry. Or stay weak. YOUR CHOICE.**
**VICTORIA FOX**
**CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT OF EARTH**
**STRAWBERRY SUPREMACIST**
**P.S.** Found a weakling complaining about the seeds? **PATHETIC.** Real men and women eat the seeds. **DOMINATE THE FRUIT.** You think lions pick the bones clean? **BE THE LION.**
**P.P.S.** Still think this is just about fruit? **YOU’RE MISSING THE ENTIRE POINT OF EXISTENCE.** Wake up. *(Drops mic, steps into Bugatti, eats flawless strawberry)*
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First off, STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS.** Do you like strawberries? What are you, five? Sitting in your high chair waiting for Mommy to mush up your fruit? **Winners don’t ASK about preferences. WINNERS DECIDE WHAT’S PREFERABLE. Happy with your bland, safe apple. Disgusting. You probably drive a TOYOTA COROLLA.** Enough said.
