The reality of disappointment surprises most couples. In the flush of new love most think their relationship will be different. They believe their love will stay strong and fresh despite the odds. Love is demanding however and once the honeymoon ends, young husbands and wives usually start seeing defects in their mates that they hadn’t noticed before. The result? Disappointment. They end up feeling like King Hiram who eagerly visited some cities that a friend had given to him but once there they did not please him. So he said what kind of cities are these which you have given my brother. And he called them the land of cabul( which in Hebrew sounds like good for nothing) as the experience of disappointed love becomes a daily lifestyle couples fight, retreat to separate corners and walk on eggshells. When I got married someone once said I was looking for the ideal, but it soon became an ordeal: now I want a new deal. God is waiting to give you understanding compassion and his love for your mate. He wants you to see that you can’t iron out the wrinkles on your own. Only he can provide the kind of love you are looking for.

When you want to tear each other’s eyes out , look for the good within you and then seek for the good in your partner. How do you do this you ask?

By giving more of yourself than you are willing to give. By humbling yourself frankly. I’m married to a Paraplegic and there are times when one feels like what about me, what do I get out of this? So what did I do? I fired my husband’s therapist and became his physical therapist. And our marriage and love life have drastically improved ever since. What can you do daily to give more of yourself? Think about it and take action today. It’s easier to change yourself than changing someone else. You’ll be surprised to find that changing yourself by becoming a better person is the fastest way to get what you want in someone else.

Till the next slay time!

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